Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Trouble with Ants

We have a little problem with ants, or rather; I have a little problem with ants. Up to this point Mike has not acknowledged their existence. I know this because he usually likes to fix things that trouble me. For four months I have been more and, depending on my mood, occasionally less enthusiastically troubled by our visitors; and Mike has, as of yet, made no attempt to stop them. I also suspect he doesn’t believe in their visits as there can certainly be no other explanation as to why he would tempt them by leaving small food items on the two ant plagued counter tops before going to bed at night.

Luckily they have some limitations. They don’t feel perfectly safe in climbing over our stove top, so the counter on that side remains a relatively safe haven for me to leave baked goods, etc. Still, I am just very discontent knowing these ants are about, so I took matters into my own hands and bought some of those fancy little ant death traps -- you know the ones. My plan seemed so great because these traps not only kill the ants that come to visit, but (as the box explained) the ants carry the tasty particles back to the colony and feed them to the egg producing queen who then dies – thereby destroying the entire colony.

This was several months ago. There was an initial slowing of ants followed by an even stronger surge – leading me to believe that the traps only killed the ant weaklings off and left the stronger ants to continue the colony. The queen is not dead at all, only laughing, as this was exactly what she needed for her colony. I am hoping that this new generation of terrifying super ants will finally induce my capable husband to some sort of “let’s stop this nonsense” action. We shall see.

Lest this seem unfair to my husband, you should all see it in this light: I have such complete confidence in his abilities that I am wholly unable to believe there is any problem he can’t fix – if he only will. In fact, even when he mentions things like the housing market not looking too good for selling our home, I get a little grumpy because I kind of think if he just would will it to be fixed it would be.

Side note: I could have taken actual pictures of the ants, but in truth, they are a small wimpy looking variety. I felt that these drawings of mine would better allow the reader to see them the way I feel about them . . . although I don't actually know if they have fangs . . . or eyebrows for that matter. I also gave them fierce red little eyes, but they are hard to see. Plus, Mike just looked at this post and said, "did you draw those??" In a most impressed tone. What a good husband to appreciate my aristic skills so, hehe. (I also hope they made him scared of ants -- so he'll want to get rid of ours).



7 comments:

Perla said...

Those ants are so cute! I thought you had figured out how to put images from other places on here, but no...you just went ahead and did a drawing. Funny post. As you know, I cannot abide any small moving creatures in my home that are not my children. Why don't you take the matter into your own hands? Buy some ant killer SPRAY at the store. Clean your counters one night and spray them like the dickens. Open a window or something nearby. Then all the ants die, even if they aren't out yet. Its not too hard. But I guess it depends on your peace of mind. You are a much cleaner individual than I and if it is necessary I will go to sleep with a messy kitchen but, as I said, I cannot abide a tiny gnat in my house. And what the heck? To post this comment it wants me to type NINE curvy letters that are hard to read! Haha. I didn't get them right so now I have to try again but only six.

Rhonda said...

Man, I am sorry about the ants... but I quite like your drawings of them! Hopefully Mike will do something about them soon.

Lover of Sweets said...

First of all...LOVE the ant drawrrings! Nice work my little artist friend. Secondly, I am so sorry that stupid queen is laughing at you. Do you want me to fly down there? Because if you don't think I know a buttload about the gospel, I do. I think that if you just started adding some of these wussy ants atop Mike's cereal, soup, taco casserole...THEN and only then might he DO something about them. I don't know, you might just want to think about it. Well, good luck with that.

marzee said...

Your ants should star in a children's horror version (because they're so scary) of the "Hungry little caterpillar meets the giant Nancy Ants!"

Gracie J said...

Ooh dear! This had me laughing. Plus, at one point, you called them "aunts" which made me laugh even harder (although, I don't think you realized that you did). Ants are possibly one of THE most annoying things ever. Why is Mike ignoring them? Is it because he has a love so deep in his heart for all animals that he's started to consider them "pets" and can't bear to see them leave? If real ants looked anything like your awesome ant drawings, I would definitely want them to stick around a while.

Nancy said...

Oh how you mock me. I can just see you laughing out loud at my frightening "aunts" Aargghh. I'll have you know I have now switched them back to "ants". I couldn't possibly be overrun with aunts as I only have a few and they are all wonderful!!

BS and the Kids said...

I am so sorry about the ants, they really are a nuisance!!!! We had some outside one of our houses and we tried the little ant houses as well, but I don't remember what finally got rid of them. I could be more aggressive because it was outside. How are they coming now?

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