Trouble with Ants

We have a little problem with ants, or rather; I have a little problem with ants. Up to this point Mike has not acknowledged their existence. I know this because he usually likes to fix things that trouble me. For four months I have been more and, depending on my mood, occasionally less enthusiastically troubled by our visitors; and Mike has, as of yet, made no attempt to stop them. I also suspect he doesn’t believe in their visits as there can certainly be no other explanation as to why he would tempt them by leaving small food items on the two ant plagued counter tops before going to bed at night.

Luckily they have some limitations. They don’t feel perfectly safe in climbing over our stove top, so the counter on that side remains a relatively safe haven for me to leave baked goods, etc. Still, I am just very discontent knowing these ants are about, so I took matters into my own hands and bought some of those fancy little ant death traps -- you know the ones. My plan seemed so great because these traps not only kill the ants that come to visit, but (as the box explained) the ants carry the tasty particles back to the colony and feed them to the egg producing queen who then dies – thereby destroying the entire colony.

This was several months ago. There was an initial slowing of ants followed by an even stronger surge – leading me to believe that the traps only killed the ant weaklings off and left the stronger ants to continue the colony. The queen is not dead at all, only laughing, as this was exactly what she needed for her colony. I am hoping that this new generation of terrifying super ants will finally induce my capable husband to some sort of “let’s stop this nonsense” action. We shall see.

Lest this seem unfair to my husband, you should all see it in this light: I have such complete confidence in his abilities that I am wholly unable to believe there is any problem he can’t fix – if he only will. In fact, even when he mentions things like the housing market not looking too good for selling our home, I get a little grumpy because I kind of think if he just would will it to be fixed it would be.

Side note: I could have taken actual pictures of the ants, but in truth, they are a small wimpy looking variety. I felt that these drawings of mine would better allow the reader to see them the way I feel about them . . . although I don't actually know if they have fangs . . . or eyebrows for that matter. I also gave them fierce red little eyes, but they are hard to see. Plus, Mike just looked at this post and said, "did you draw those??" In a most impressed tone. What a good husband to appreciate my aristic skills so, hehe. (I also hope they made him scared of ants -- so he'll want to get rid of ours).