Saturday, February 23, 2008

Men Are From Mars

Oh alright, I haven’t even read the book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. And I don’t even know that what I am writing about has anything to do with men and women and their differences. I like the title though, and it reminds me of a little rhyme we were fond of chanting to boys when I was young. It goes like this: “Girls go to Mars to get more candy bars. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” Ohhh how clever we thought we were – how we showed those boys! Yet, looking back upon it now, I see that perhaps it wasn’t ultra flattering to us girls either – running off to Mars to gobble up candy bars, growing larger and larger with each gleeful bite. Yes, the book title is much better and makes much more sense. Men are from Mars. They are therefore Martians. We women are from Venus. Venus was the goddess of love (I don’t know that, I’m just guessing). So, basically a Martian marries a goddess in our society. There is bound to be confusion in such a relationship. Actually, I think Mars may have been the god of war, but I prefer my Martian interpretation. It sounds more confusing – thereby making the relationship issue more confusing, which is exactly what it needs to be if someone is going to sell a lot of copies of a book about it.

As I mentioned, I’ve not yet read the book, though I own a copy. Perhaps I’ve been waiting for an astronomically large disagreement to occur whereupon we will rush to the book for guidance. We will then sigh with relief and both say, “Whew, so that’s what this was all about! You just think crazy.” Or, maybe I don’t feel particularly confused. Or maybe, I am confused, but prefer to remain that way -- what, after all, must I know about why my Martian wants loads of chickens, canoes and 4-wheelers other than the fact that it is so. Without them he cannot be fully happy. That is plenty to know. Must I also figure out the “why?” Plus, I am not altogether sure I agree with the stereotypes. One I often hear is: Men need to learn that when a woman is talking, she just needs you to listen! She only wants to be heard and does not, under any circumstances, want you to just try and fix her problem. This is not the case for me. I tell you most assuredly that the one thing I want is for my husband to just fix the problem. When I am worried about how to handle a situation with a friend or moaning about a child who just won’t sleep at night, a plain old listening ear is definitely not all I am after. I am after some good old fashioned problem fixing. Perhaps that is what has kept me from the book -- fear that I am not one of the goddesses at all with my unorthodox way of thinking.

Alright, the reason for all of this was just to add a little bulk to what I really wanted to write (because everyone loves a little extra bulk added to any post!). I was thinking of something Mike said to me the other night. I’d just started this blog and had been trying to think of a few things to write about. Then, rather off the blog subject (as I’ve no intention of recording this here), I mentioned that I had never even written about our Wedding day! Mike, who was looking at stuff for sale on the internet (another thing I’m sure I’d understand perfectly if I read the book – but once again, perhaps simply knowing he likes is all the understanding I need) replied, “I keep thinking you’re planning on dying when you keep talking about all this blogging.”

I immediately launched into how I didn’t plan on dying. (Certainly nothing I’ve posted here could constitute my last great words to my children). I began to tell him that it was just that thinking of things to write about had made me realize how many significant life events I have neglected to record. I was well prepared to then have a discussion about how sad it is that time robs us of so many memories. I thought I should reaffirm again that recording things shouldn’t make him think I was going to die, merely that I wanted to remember all the great things I am experiencing.

It turns out all this response was not going to be necessary to calm his troubled mind. He’d evidently realized with in the first word or two out of my mouth that I probably wasn’t going anywhere after all. At least I assume it was something like that because with his next breath he said (pulling me to his side and nodding at the computer screen), “Anyway, I’m just thinkin’ that a full size van with a little extra bling would be pretty nice.” By extra “bling” he meant fancy rims, tinted windows and maybe a little something else I have never paid attention to on a vehicle. I could launch into a whole new discussion about this odd topic, but I realize he is a Martian and I am probably one of the goddesses of love, and at the moment I don’t really need to understand why he wasn’t more concerned about my possible demise. I am just content that he thought I ought to be there at his side when there was a “full size van with a little extra bling” to be admired.

15 comments:

Lover of Sweets said...

Oh those martians! How they make me laugh. I just remember wondering why every once in a while Chris would have this a
look of anger on his face. I gotta tell you...it always scared me, like I had done something wrong. I remember when I finally got up enough nerve to ask him if there was anything wrong, he just said he was thinking about ham. Not really, but it was something just as harmless. Anyway, it's hard to know what goes on in the minds of those martians, but I sure love mine!

marzee said...

Totally get you on the "bling" thing. Jon is convinced that I need an SUV with sweet rims, tinted windows, awesome sound system, navigation, not to forget an air compressor to lift and lower it. Of course, instead of thinking about style, I responded, "Yeah, that would be easier than climbing up into it. Just lower it so the kids can crawl in and I don't have to wrestle them up and into their seats." Makes sense to me. "Bow wow, chika bow wow - Hooa!"

Mugsy said...

I like your picture. lots... I read almost all of your post ten times and was distracted everytime. But I liked it just the same. rock on....

Perla said...

Love the photo as well as all the cool thoughts about Martians and love goddesses! Nice Robert Post's Child!

Gracie J said...

Must I also figure out the “why?” I think the answer to this is "no", because aren't you going to love him just the same regardless of whether or not the "why?" question is answered? I've always stayed away from that book, simply because I think the title is far too silly. However, I love "Girls go to Mars, to get the candy bars. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider." As if us silly girls saying "stupider" was stupid in and of itself. I think I also remember once telling a boy (and this should be NO surprise since this is ME we're talking about here) that I was going to "Kick his ***** to Venus!" It's another little rhyme for you. Hopefully you can figure it out. :)

Gracie J said...

I also meant to say that I was picturing in my mind's eye how long it must have taken you to type this...

Liz217 said...

Love the picture of you and Mike! Where was it taken? I don't even pretend to understand Jay of why there is not one thing that he gets excited about, everything is just mediocre in his eyes. Whereas I find lots of things to be very enjoyable. Be happy that Mike has found the things that make him content even if they are farm animals.

Tash said...

Ok I gave that book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus as a wedding gift to friend, (when I was single). That is the key phrase, "When I was single," because they thought it was a dumb gift and my friend's Martian felt perfectly comfortable telling me that. That was back in the day that I didn't have a Martian and so desperately wanted one to try and understand. Now I have one and I am content to let Martians be Martians, and it really doesn't matter why they are. They just are.

BS and the Kids said...

I love, love, love that picture. What an awesome background. Where is that? Anyway, I love your thoughts. It reminds me of a book I think would be entertaining but maybe all not that enlightening that I would like to read, "Strangling your Husband is Not an Option". Anyway, the differences are amazing, but that is what makes it work.

Nancy said...

The picture was taken in GA. It is some old general's home or something (from when we were fighting for Florida). We took a few pics there with our camera sitting on top of our car set on timer. The pics turned out kind-of cool and romantic, but we didn't know we'd be finding that cool place and so Mike laughs that his shirt says, "who are these kids and why are they calling me dad?" -- perfect for some romantic pictures!

jami said...

amazing photo ... and thanks for the thoughts. nice to know others have martian stories of their own. :)

Tia Juana said...

Oh, this was before I knew you! Very funny and very though provoking! I actually think I am the martian in my marriage. Actually we both are, which is why we are so perfect for each other!

And for the record, because I am such a wild crazy daydreamer, I totally think I'm dying, which is why I blog so that I can quickly record everything I want my kids to know about me. So they will know what things make me laugh and what things make me cry. So they will know that I love them. And so they will know that I love daddy for driving their pukie selves to Utah without their mother. Oh, this is totally why I'm blogging. So when I die unexpectedly, they can read my best blog posts at my funeral and everyone will say 'Oh, she was so wonderful. She will be missed!'

Great post. We should back track more often.

Tia Juana said...

I meant that Joe and I are both martians.

Not you and me. Just to clarify.

Joe and me are both martians which is why we get along together so well - just out there in left field together.

Lover of Sweets said...

Oh this truly was a clever post...I loved it then (even though at the time it seems I didn't appreciate the cleverness of it all by my weak comment...I have grown much since then though) and I loved it even more now. Sometimes I have to laugh in mid-sentence when speaking to Sweets because I can tell by his facial expression that he can tell my rantings are going nowhere.

Anna Sanders said...

Now people in our school say Girls go to college to get more knowledge, Boys go to jupiter to get more stupider. Either one is awesome.
P.S. Venus is the goddess of beauty

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...