I am Going to Blog . . .

EVERY SINGLE DAY until this baby comes. Wait. Why would I even say that. Is it a promise? A threat? What do I even hope to accomplish by doing that? Will it simply pass the time? Because heaven knows I have more than enough to be doing to “pass the time”. And what if I change my mind? What if I don’t want to blog one day and the absence of a post makes everyone assume I have gone off to have a new baby and so they all start saying, “I can’t believe you are off having your baby!” and really I am not off having a baby at all? I am just grumpily sitting in the kitchen eating Halloween Oreos and chocolate frosted cake donuts and Quaker Oh’s cereal because I’m NOT in labor.

Well, let’s just hope all those things don’t happen (only, the part about me eating Oh’s and cake donuts and Oreos already happened . . . today and yesterday. Luckily the kids discovered the Oh’s this morning – half hidden behind the Corn Chex – and they are now all gone).

Anyway. So. Here we are. With me. Blogging every day. What should we talk about (in a rather one sided conversation sort of way)? Well, yes, I suppose we could talk about just how long this madness of every day blogging is likely to last. It could last two weeks. I am currently two weeks away from that magical due date. So . . . it could also last longer than two weeks. Shudder. It could last less though. Today my CNM asked me if I wanted to be started. Just like that. I could be started if I wanted. Only . . . now that I know I could . . . and even though I said at the first of this pregnancy that I thought it might be a grand idea . . . suddenly I don’t want to be again. Which is weird because I also really WANT to have this baby right this minute. Hmm. I told him I’d wait it out ‘til my due date (should it come to that) and then decide how much more I could handle.

The thing is, it would actually be perfect to be a few days late as far as life is concerned. I’ve mentioned I have “stuff” to do. Activity Days I’m in charge of (my partner is about to undergo brain surgery, which, understandably trumps labor), I have agreed to teach Abe’s primary class this week and do a little presentation for someone in YW’s. The kids would love if we got Halloween decorations all up first (as we traditionally do on Oct. 1st), and there is still so so much to clean and organize. Only, I nested myself all out. Really. My forced nesting backfired. It feels kind of like how I felt 2/3rds of the way through my last marathon when I had run the first half way way too fast. I had pretty much nothing left to give other than making it to the end. That is kind of me now. I did a crazy amount of organizing and cleaning every second last week. Then our basement flooded. And, as I helped drag wet boxes of clothes and suitcases and Christmas wrapping paper outside to dry out at 3:00 am I decided I had no more desire or drive to do anything. I decided I wanted to go have my baby immediately if only so that I could sit in the hospital for two days with nothing expected of me. And maybe that is the real reason for blogging every day . . . because I am burnt out of doing what needs to be done. On a positive note, my windows are clean, my bathroom drawers and cupboards are organized, as well as the kitchen ones. What that has to do with having a baby is beyond me. And sadly, my hitting quit mode landed before I ever cleaned our showers or toilets. When I think of that, I think of the exact thing Jesse said this morning when he saw something interesting/possibly scary out his car window, “Oh my yikes!” Yes. Oh my yikes.

Well, we’ll chit chat more tomorrow. (And don’t go assuming I’m in labor unless this remains post free ‘til midnight). Farewell.