The point of all this was to say, that as I was unpacking the other day and came upon these note filled boxes, I began going through them because a note is such a happy thing (as I mentioned in this post about notes last year). As I read over some of the notes I'd written to Mike, I noticed something. What I noticed was this: I could hear me in those notes. No no, not me talking like on the movies when someone is reading a letter and suddenly you hear the sender's voice. I just mean, I could hear my writing voice. You know the one. The one you can hear RIGHT NOW! It was me, the writing me, right there in every one of those notes. And, to be honest, it tired me a little. Must I always sound – well, how I sound? You know that you know what I am talking about. The voice that I have cursed for being so hard to punctuate correctly. That same voice that is present in my emails or blog posts or any other thing I write. And that is fine, but when something is . . . how can I explain this. . . when something is so certainly a certain way each and every time, it can get old. If you like that way, fine, but what if it isn't really your style or you simply feel like something different that day? Then perhaps that voice can become maddening or even worse – annoying. Maybe once in awhile I'd like to type up something with a different voice. A voice that could be anyone in the world. A voice that wouldn't rub you wrong if you were tired of that same old voice. I used to worry the same thing when I taught Relief Society. What if sometimes you didn't want a distinct style. What if you just wanted good basic – something.
Anywho, maybe I'll try writing a few posts with different voices. I could even name them – I'll be like “A post about moving written in Beverly's voice” or “A post about life with five kids in Fernando's voice” – but who knows if that would even work. Even me writing that sounds to me like the voice I was talking about. Plus, you might just all start to think I have multiple personalities and that might even be more disturbing than hearing ME and exactly me each and every time I write. Oh don't get me wrong. I like me just fine and I'm sure you all do to, but do you know what I mean? Sometimes I don't want to be so predictable or even so pinned to one way of sounding. I want to be a little more versatile.
Still, I have written Mike some pretty good notes (and one day, when I am dead, and he finds them there in that shoe box, he will miss me all the more) and hearing my writing voice loud and clear was NOTHING as disturbing as when I was young and first heard my talking voice on a tape recorder. I liked the sound of my voice so well in my head, and then to hear it from someone else's perspective – not at all how I thought I sounded was quite disturbing! Blah blah blah . . . and this is all I have to say after my long blog absence?!