Friday, January 23, 2009

Hands On

I bedazzled my thumb today. Not even with the Bedazzler! I just noticed a little star shaped gem on the floor. It had fallen off one of the aprons my girls bedazzled long ago (and let's not get into the whole geMagic thing again). All I did was reach down and pick it up, but next thing ya' know, one of its little prongs is stuck in my thumb and I am all bedazzled!

And one time I fell on the school playground and when I wiped off my hands I thought there was a flat metal disc stuck on one palm, but it was a thumb tack! It was pushed all the way into my hand!

But maybe worst of all is that I once sewed through my fingernail. That's right. The needle broke right off in my index finger nail and stopped the sewing machine in its tracks. I was sewing -- maybe like how Cruella Deville drives -- all crazy and fast. I don't know why. It was some really thick and long bumper pads. I was trying to sew lines right through the padding which I maybe shouldn't have been doing. I thought if I pushed the pedal 100 miles per hour and pushed it through very forcefully it would be a good plan. Well, yah, a good plan for sewing through your finger! Shudder.

Another time I was grabbing one piece of gum after another to stick on to blobs of hot glue (for some "running for office" handouts of one of my siblings) and at one point I grabbed my own finger and stuck it on a strip of gum-awaiting hot glue. Hot glue is just what it claims to be. Hot.

But, I've never broken a bone or been taken to the hospital horribly ill (only maybe horribly anaphylactic from those darned Brazil nuts).

It's just my hands are all crazy and they look like I've been holding hands with Edward Scissor Hands because they have become so cracked and crazy thanks to eczema, and I was remembering today how Mike once told me when we were dating that my hands were one of his favorite features about me. How sad. And now I have some old country song going through my head that goes, "These hands are the hands of a . . ." and that is all I can remember over and over. As we all know, one song line going through your head over and over is quite maddening. And all thanks to that cursed Bedazzler.
Anyway, off to bathe old purple mouth. Peace out.

19 comments:

Tash said...

oh yeast!!! I hate it poor you and poor little baby!
Good Luck at your new ward. I am not supposed to be blogging but I just wanted to see whatyou were up to! I have been so inattentive to you and your new baby!!

Tia Juana said...

Um, ouch! The only thing I can relate to having your hands bedazzled is stepping on legos because that is pure torture! Especially in the middle of the night. When the lights aren't on. And you don't know htey are there when you are rushing to get to your crying child.

And the sewing the finger thing - that is very gross and I got shivers. Thanks.

Rhonda said...

I am so entertained by you! Every time I see that you have a new post I get so excited to read it. I am sorry about all of the painful things that have happened to your hands though. I like that you were sewing "like Cruela Devill drives"-- I am usually so impatient with a sewing project that I am surprised I haven't sewn right through my finer as well.

I am sorry about poor little Jesse. I hope he gets better soon!

Krista said...

You really didn't have to empathize with my hand pain! I used to sew a lot - there's something about putting the pedal to the metal! All I have to say is don't drink and sew!

Lover of Sweets said...

Oh, I think it goes .."these hands are the hands of a crazy woman who can't help but burn herself and ram gems and thumbtacks into her poor little hands which her husband likes to hold in church.." something like that. DO be careful.

jami said...

yikes! ... i must admit i had to skim this because i got a little queasy reading about all the things happening to your hands. apparently being prego and reading this isn't a good idea -- :)

Sarah said...

I remember the good ol' days when I got to talk to you every night!! What a lucky gal I was, no wonder that was such a happy time of my life. I really do look forward to reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your silly thoughts and all!

Bradshaw said...

Nancy you are so great, thanks for a good laugh. Hope church went well for you, I am sure they loved you!

Susan

The Mother of This Show said...

Man you crack me up, sista. I just laugh and laugh and remember when Becky Memmott sewed her finger in the sewing machine at Central Jr. high. And Mrs. Alexander was shaking and feaking out and trying to get her key into the lock that allowed her to call over the intercom to the office. The office said, "well bring her down and we'll have the nurse look at it." And Mrs. Alexander, totally undone by now, screamed back, and do you think I should haul the damn sewing machine with me???!!" Oh how we laughed--not Becky of couse, but we, her friends, laughed and laughed.

Kelly said...

I'm sure Perla remembers when Catalina Coria got her hair caught in the tear-drop buffing machine in Sumida's class. Her hair was so long that it took a while to wind all the way to her scalp. Finally she actually saved her scalp by pulling the machine with her head because her hair was attached and her pulling motion pulled the plug out of the wall!

Nothing to do with hands and fingers at all but everything to do with hurt and Central Middle School.

Kelly said...

I'm sure Perla remembers when Catalina Coria got her hair caught in the tear-drop buffing machine in Sumida's class. Her hair was so long that it took a while to wind all the way to her scalp. Finally she actually saved her scalp by pulling the machine with her head because her hair was attached and her pulling motion pulled the plug out of the wall!

Nothing to do with hands and fingers at all but everything to do with hurt and Central Middle School.

Mugsy said...

Like Cruella Devill! You are to funny and why isn't your picture in color so you can get some real sympathy?

Karen said...

The story your hands could tell.....I once stapled my finger because I wondered if I could. (When I say things like that, I wonder if my children are biological.)
And the sewing machine thing, ummm, ouch!

marzee said...

I put my hands through mixer once (yes, it was by accident.)

jami said...

ok. have your hands healed? i was just checking in and wondering what's been going on. ... :)

Mugsy said...

So i pretty much love your profile pic. So cool. And what do you think of this one eh?

Tia Juana said...

OK. Are you so house poor that you can no longer afford internet service??? This blogging hiatus has gone on long enough, young lady! Get back to blogging RIGHT NOW, MISSY, you here me?

that was my version of a really mean old lady reprimanding her young daughter.

PS...MY daughter crashed her car.

Yeah, come back already.

Tia Juana said...

In my fury I put "you here me".

That's funny, you HEAR me?

Tash said...

I tagged you see Feb 8

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