Thursday, January 15, 2009

Of Breakfasts and Lunches

I know, I know -- the cardinal rule of healthy eating (well, maybe not the cardinal, but, you know, a major rule) is: never skip breakfast. I don't know who would want to skip breakfast anyway (except truthfully sometimes stomachs just aren't quite up for any digestive work first thing in the AM), but, if you do skip breakfast, you know what will happen. Your body won't start the day right -- running on empty and all, so you will overcompensate and eat way more all day (you might not think you are, but the studies say you are, so you are) and soon you will weigh 100 pounds. Oh, for heaven's sake, sometimes in my attempts to grossly over exaggerate, I accidentally under exaggerate. No, you will not suddenly weigh 100 pounds. That is only if you eat no breakfast, lunch or dinner -- or snacks. What I meant was: you will suddenly weigh ONE MILLION pounds.

So, I know all of that (I'm sure everything I wrote above is pure science), but I have not been able to eat breakfast for nothin' lately. Really, it is just not happening. I wake up and try to quickly get five kids ready and fed -- hair done, coats, backpacks, shoes, "What? You don't want to eat school lunch today?! I have to make you one?" and all of that. And all the while I am doing this one handed as I try to nurse the youngest one to fullness because I don't want him crying miserably in the car for the entire 20 min. drive to my kid's school. Then, the three youngest and I go straight to the new house since there is no point in driving back to my parents and out again, and we (by we, I mean I) clean what we can before Penny or Jesse, or even Goldie or I can't take it anymore and we head back to my mom's. Where does breakfast come into play I ask you?

So, the point of all of this is I am pretty ready to gobble up everything in sight when we get back. I still haven't grown the third hand I am wishing for, so I just make do. And, if Mike knew what I ate for lunch today, he would maybe leave me. No, he wouldn't leave me -- too much a man who fulfills his obligations for that. But, he would definitely have a hard time ever kissing me again unless or until he had watched me wash my mouth out with bleach . . . and you know the cardinal rule of mouth hygiene: never wash your mouth out with Clorox (and of course, that may not be thee cardinal rule either -- it may not even be a rule at all, but it probably . . . no, certainly should be).

Anyway, it was just a convenient combination of most left-overs in our fridge plus a few items my kids were having for lunch and included funeral potatoes, tomatoes and some nice pork-n-beans thrown in for good measure. I know all you non-food mixers are shuddering, but it was great. I had seconds, and I didn't even care because no one was there to see what I was eating. Except now I've told everyone. Dang. But really, I have been run ragged lately so leave me be. I'll blog again soon -- when I weigh one million pounds and am swishing some bleach in my mouth.
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And, lest I sound whiny with all this "I'm run ragged blah blah blah poor poor me," I do realize that I am lucky that I CAN be run ragged. Does that make sense?? I just mean as crazy as things have been since signing on a crazy foreclosed house about the day Jesse was born, I realize that I can do it (so far), and tired as I am, I know that is a blessing. What if I just broke my leg or was suffering from severe depression or even had the flu right now? I don't know. Mike has heard . . . maybe a tiny tiny bit of less than perfect attitude from me . . . maybe . . . but I am grateful that I have been able to handle all the insanity of life right now even if it means I can't fit breakfast in and must eat crazy stuff for lunch.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love, love the way you write. It cracks me up, totally. I will try not to use bleach in my mouth. But actually I think your lunch sounded tasty. Usually I am just sadly foraging for food in the cupboards, but to have cooked left over beans and potatos, well that sounds yummy.

The Mother of This Show said...

Oh, I'm not anonymous, that comment was from me, sister Amy.

Krista said...

Thanks so much for explaining what was in that bowl, because I couldn't figure it out. I hate breakfast food, but force myself to eat cinnamon toast or instant buttered grits. I haven't been able to do dairy for about 20 years (since I was a meer nine year old)!!! JK, you've seen my picture - and those kids - all orphans who won't leave my house! Just like the stray cat you feed JUST ONCE and they never leave. I know I'm too young to be their mother, but someone had to take the poor darlings in! Lunch is my favorite meal, especially if it is from a restaurant. I actually skip dinner most of the time. Mainly because I don't want to cook it!

Sarah said...

Certainly you learned that exaggeration from me! Do you remember how much you used to tease me about that?! I still exaggerate like I always have and it makes me think of you when I sound really ridiculous. Am I making sense?

Nancy said...

Ha ha, yes, Sarah, I remember your style of exaggerating very well. I may have to blog about that soon!

John said...

Mmm. Funeral potatoes, beans and tomatoes. Sounds good to me. Marnie might turn her nose up at it. For Mike's sake, I hope you didn't sneak in a pickle on the side. He'll know, you know.

Perla said...

hilarious post, sister! and i'm sorry that i have not been more of a help during this crazy time. at least i did TRY to come help you once this week. and yeah your lunch looks gross. maybe you need to invest in some nice cereal/meal bars. i have recently gotten into fiber. i eat fiber one bars or zone bars. but, everybody should know that you are not gaining any weight but look SOOOOO awesome and skinny already and you haven't even had the chance to go running yet! so, forget about the pounds, but do eat so that you can keep running yourself ragged. i love you!

Tia Juana said...

I am not anonymous because I would have never said that your lunch sounded tasty. It looked and sounded gross. Hey, I know someone who has some really good bread at her house ... maybe you should go and scrounge some off of her......

I do not know how you are doing all that you are doing with a one month old baby. I think I had been off the couch twice by this age of my babies. You, my dear, despite your eating habits are a rock star!

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