Monday, March 31, 2008

The Disposal

One of the most disconcerting things is what occurs when you turn on your garbage disposal (if that is what that thing in your sink that grinds up stuff is called -- mine is actually called the "in-sink-erator") while there is some non-food item sitting in it. Usually, I find, these non-food items are kitchen utensils, spoons in particular seem to enjoy a good visit down the disposal. Anyway, it makes a horrible sound (those of you who do this as regularly as I do know what I’m talking about). It rattles your nerves, like someone jumping out from behind a door to scare you, so even though your hand was right on the switch, it has now leapt to your mouth or your frantically beating heart in panic, and it can’t seem to register, with all that grinding noise, how to quickly turn the thing back off. All in all, it is probably only a matter of seconds before you come to your senses and realize what you must do (no, not reach in and grab the spoon! Turn the disposal off), but it seems much longer because the affect lasts a good deal longer.

It is almost as damaging to your nerves to turn the disposal on, even with nothing lodged in there, if you think you are turning the light over your sink on. I am not certain why these two identical switches must always be side by side, but a hesitant little guessing game must be played each time you go to turn the light on. Still, that isn’t quite as bad as the aforementioned because at least you are not left with a chewed up spoon which you don’t throw away because that would be ridiculous -- even though you can’t bare to use it ever again because it is so rough and disturbing to your palate.

Back to the spoon in the disposal, knowing how upsetting it is, I have to wonder why I always turn my disposal on with out checking for anything first. Each time, just as my hand is flipping the switch, I hunch my shoulders, grit my teeth and close my eyes – waiting for the worst. Is it simply because I forget to check each time? And the fearful posture I take as I flip the switch is something akin to slamming your car door just as you realize your keys are still in there -- your mind thinks, “noooo! Stoppp!” yet your hand continues to slam the door? Or is the truth simply that I can not bare to put my hand down that dark hole to check the disposal? I mean there is something in there that no one has ever seen (well, except for whoever put it there to begin with and maybe lots of other people, but it sounded more mysterious to say no one had ever seen what was in there). Whatever it is, it grinds food up in seconds and even chews up metal spoons. Giant spinning blades? Sharks? It’s unnerving. Once I saw a small scene from some shrunken woman show where she fell into the garbage disposal just as it was about to be turned on. No wonder I’m so horrified of the whole thing. Those of you who check your disposals faithfully, with-out batting an eye, have my admiration
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9 comments:

Melissa, Ryan and Addy said...

This was literally the funniest thing I've ever read in my life? I just kept thinking, "That's so true." My parents have the garbage disposal/light switch combo at their house and I can't tell you how many times I got the wrong switch and almost wet myself! I have also had the metal object down the disposal situation and it is right up there with the sound of finger nails on a chalk board! We had an IBC rootbeer bottlecap stuck in ours a couple weeks ago and it was just awful!

Perla said...

I am so scared to check what is in the disposal because I always think that somehow it is going to turn on by accident--because as you mentioned, we often turn it on by accident ourselves so you never know what could happen. Luckily or regrettably I can know see directly down into my disposal because I let too many spoons get chewed up and they ripped off the plastic part that is supposed to cover the disposal. It doesn't look scary down there. But now I have to put my hand or a dish over the disposal before I turn it on so that stuff doesn't fly everywhere. Gross and scary!

BS and the Kids said...

One of my favorite posts yet. Such an "odd topic" yet written about so well. I hate sticking my hand down the disposal to fish out whatever it is that is getting grinded. It is such a dark scary place where gross things go.

Lover of Sweets said...

Oh man, I loved this post. How cool that you would write about something as seemingly trivial as the garbage disposal. You had me laughing too hard! Thanks. Your writing rocks!

Nancy said...

Thanks for the nice compliments on my disposal post. SOmetimes, when you write about a disposal, you just aren't sure if anyone cares . . . cry cry cry . . . but you all have shown me such kindness. You all are the bestest.

Gracie J said...

Luckily, I have just the single switch here, which makes for less grinding noises which = me being less jumpy when I turn it on. I would never want to stick my hand down there with all the sogginess of food and such...sick! I try and avoid anything being trapped down there. I always rinse my dishes/utinsels and immediately move them to the other, garbage-dispoal free side of the sink.

Anonymous said...

I have mangled many a spoon in my time, but I do check on occasion and when I do I always fear the garbage disposal will some how turn on grinding my hand into a mooshy mess eventhough my other hand is no where near the disposal switch. It is a terrible thought!!! Liz

Nancy said...

Ah! I think you figured it out for me Liz and Shan, I think I am slightly afraid it will just suddenly turn on all of its own accord!

Mugsy said...

So aside from the fact that your short seemingly little thought about the disposal is actually one of the biggest cancer causing agents to all who experience it on a regular basis, like myself. Ok not Cancer, but I am almost certain it has caused irriversible stress and aged us so many years because of the horrific panic it triggers each and every time. O I could go on and on and on....But the trueth of the matter is, I feel as though the only real way to contact you is through your BLOG!!! So sad all our intiumate little conversations, every pure little detail, exploited for all of the cyber world to veiw.....maybe you should call me, unless you like causing me pain. And to that I would understand after all the years of pain I have caused you growing up with me always ready to pounce. So off in the back ground I here the horse movie Spirit playing..All I think of is MIke's interprutation of the show as; "down with the white man"...Its so true....bla bla bla blaaaaa.........bla bla..

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