Stress

I know I keep posting like a crazy person. No one could possibly keep up with such an influx of posts, but, it seems that things are generally feast or famine – you know, when it rains it pours – and I trust there will be another famine ere long.

Mike and I are at present under about the most stress we have yet been under in our nearly nine years of marriage. Not just moving, but many small issues related to Mike trying to finish a major three year long project at work before we leave, rather serious financial stress due to the market we just sold our house in, stress about when we will possibly be able to be in the peace and comfort of our own place and things again, stress because my amniotic fluid is low – which I’ve been instructed not to “lose sleep over yet” although if you read what can be causing that along with what that can cause, it is very hard not to lose any sleep.

Anywho, I think I shouldn’t be complaining here. It is nice to complain about things because how else does one get a little sympathy, I ask you? But, if you read the first part of the Book of Mormon, you might notice that Laman and Lemuel are constantly mentioned as murmuring and complaining. It’s weird because it is second nature to us, I think, to complain (then again, some of you are probably much better than that). I complain if it’s hot, complain if I’m not getting enough sleep, complain if I have a lot to do, etc. etc. So, I imagine that if I were wandering through a hot desert wilderness, I’d assume loads of complaining was justified. But every time I read the first parts of the Book of Mormon I am struck by the fact that maybe it isn’t just fine to complain and maybe you ought to bear (bare?) things with a little more quiet dignity.

So, most of the time, I really am aware of my blessings. I’ve been reading a little about the Martin and Willie handcart companies and other atrocities the early saints faced, plus thinking of trials others at this very time have to suffer – horrible trials. And I realize that my life is very very blessed (it really truly is) and can barely be considered one bit of a trial. And lots of the time I feel strongly that Heavenly Father is very pleased when we have faith and trust him to guide us and lead us even when things seem to be working all wrong.

But . . . every once in awhile, I must admit, I feel like Peter crossing the water – walking along just fine because I see Christ and I am doing it, but then I look about and see all the waves and winds and immediately begin to sink! Then I cry my little eyes out for a minute or two.

So, I was telling you this partly to complain (as I ought not to do), but partly to explain about all the many postings. It cheers me to type away about happy, normal, good things going on in my day to day life.

Also, I have packed a lot of the things that we don’t need out already. Now I am feeling antsy because there is so much to be done, but lots of it doesn’t really make sense to do until the final days here . . . so I feel like I am just biding my time waiting to do all the last miserable packing of everything that we still kind of need around. So, posting eases my antsy-ness!