Saturday, August 9, 2008

Stress

I know I keep posting like a crazy person. No one could possibly keep up with such an influx of posts, but, it seems that things are generally feast or famine – you know, when it rains it pours – and I trust there will be another famine ere long.

Mike and I are at present under about the most stress we have yet been under in our nearly nine years of marriage. Not just moving, but many small issues related to Mike trying to finish a major three year long project at work before we leave, rather serious financial stress due to the market we just sold our house in, stress about when we will possibly be able to be in the peace and comfort of our own place and things again, stress because my amniotic fluid is low – which I’ve been instructed not to “lose sleep over yet” although if you read what can be causing that along with what that can cause, it is very hard not to lose any sleep.

Anywho, I think I shouldn’t be complaining here. It is nice to complain about things because how else does one get a little sympathy, I ask you? But, if you read the first part of the Book of Mormon, you might notice that Laman and Lemuel are constantly mentioned as murmuring and complaining. It’s weird because it is second nature to us, I think, to complain (then again, some of you are probably much better than that). I complain if it’s hot, complain if I’m not getting enough sleep, complain if I have a lot to do, etc. etc. So, I imagine that if I were wandering through a hot desert wilderness, I’d assume loads of complaining was justified. But every time I read the first parts of the Book of Mormon I am struck by the fact that maybe it isn’t just fine to complain and maybe you ought to bear (bare?) things with a little more quiet dignity.

So, most of the time, I really am aware of my blessings. I’ve been reading a little about the Martin and Willie handcart companies and other atrocities the early saints faced, plus thinking of trials others at this very time have to suffer – horrible trials. And I realize that my life is very very blessed (it really truly is) and can barely be considered one bit of a trial. And lots of the time I feel strongly that Heavenly Father is very pleased when we have faith and trust him to guide us and lead us even when things seem to be working all wrong.

But . . . every once in awhile, I must admit, I feel like Peter crossing the water – walking along just fine because I see Christ and I am doing it, but then I look about and see all the waves and winds and immediately begin to sink! Then I cry my little eyes out for a minute or two.

So, I was telling you this partly to complain (as I ought not to do), but partly to explain about all the many postings. It cheers me to type away about happy, normal, good things going on in my day to day life.

Also, I have packed a lot of the things that we don’t need out already. Now I am feeling antsy because there is so much to be done, but lots of it doesn’t really make sense to do until the final days here . . . so I feel like I am just biding my time waiting to do all the last miserable packing of everything that we still kind of need around. So, posting eases my antsy-ness!

7 comments:

Tia Juana said...

Oh I do not envy your stressful stress. At all.

I remember when I moved a little more than 6 years ago. We were under so much financial strain and my hopes of ever having a house of my own seemed so far off as we yet again secured a house to rent from a lady named Rita Yelyashov - which I affectionately referred to, even in front of my children, as Rita Yell-your-A**-Off. Because she was a Russian Psychopath and I was renting a house from her.

I was pregnant with ET and due in a month. We were in the midst of lawsuits and trying to be reimbursed from countless insurance companies that were refusing to pay us because we had shut down the practice - even though everything about the claims were legitimate. Apparantly if you leave the state of practice everyone thinks the bills disappear. I try not to think about the hundreds of thousands of dollars that are still owed to us on this very day. No, not bitter at all!

Moving is just stressful in any way shape or form but when you add in all the financial strains of the world we live in and the typical trials that we are blessed to endure, it is no wonder that we even survive it all, but you will. And in a very few short months I will be enjoying your blogs about how beautiful your little baby is and how fun it is to live where you live and how much you still like Mike.

Keep the faith.

And count your blessings that you don't have to pack the glasses and the camera.

Tia Juana said...

That was a really dumb comment - its like I came along and tried to make my life seem more extreme and more stressful than yours and no one likes a "topper" and that was not what I was trying to do. I was trying to empathize which really sort of came out like a "topper" in telling you that you really have not trials at all when in fact you do and your stresses are all very real and stressful. Just ignore me, okay?

I'm sorry you are stressed.

And I like to imagine what kind of picture of yourself you would post, if you indeed could take a picture of yourself, that would capture you being stressed. Would you be cross eyed, gel your hair up straight on end for a frazzled look, or perhaps you would just curl up in a ball on the floor and tell Abe to 'quick - take a picture'. All of those would be fun to see - although we would all still feel so bad for your stress.

jami said...

nancy-i love your posts ... i love that you are antsy and posting. :) i love reading your thoughts and i you just make me realize (more often than i should) how the gospel is so applicable. (yes, you did this OFTEN as my friend and most favorite visiting teacher :) ) but i love that you are just posting along and you quietly and quickly just pull in the scriptures and how it applies in our lives. :) thanks for sharing. :) as always ....

i'm sorry you are stressing ... and i'm please blessing that all will work out ... with mike's work, the finances, the amniotic fluid, and the final days of packing ... xoxoxox .... sending lots of love ..... :)

Nancy said...

Nonsense, Tia, it is reassuring to hear that other people -- who seem to be in a fine place now -- underwent similar things. It reminds me that somehow we might not be broke and stressed for all of forever, but will likely be all past it in a few years and saying, "whew, that was rough, glad it worked out!!"

Jame, thanks so much! What nice things to say! And, you know how happy it makes me when you please bless things.

Perla said...

sorry about your stress. i am happy to have so many fun posts to read, though, since i haven't been at my computer for a couple of days. thanks for all of your good thoughts about murmuring. i think i have gotten better about it, but sometimes not so much still.

one of my favorite quotes that i think of often is from a talk by elder maxwell and he says that we are "to endure well and gracefully those things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us]". i am trying to remember to pass through things well and with grace, although of course i fall short. but i still try. You might enjoy reading the whole talk about patience and trials here:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=647cfc3157a6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

marzee said...

Whoa woman!!! (Ha - "So I married an axe murderer" - sorry, just made me think of it) Blog much lately? Seriously - it's like you have bloggerhea! Ok - yuck - but that may help with the stress - better out than in they say. We love it though (as evidenced by all of our comments).

Life's stresses - craziness! You guys DO have a ton going on - and what's this business with everything seeming to hit at once?! Seriously, "There ought to be a law." Death in the family -poor little Sneaks/Squeaks? (I've already forgotten his name! ugh! - there goes my famed comprehension - and I'm not even pregnant!) Moving, finances, pregnancy concerns (pregnancy all by itself without the concerns) - and so on and so forth. All I can say is stay close to the Lord - revamp your spiritual patterns (study, prayer, journaling) - making sure to keep your oil up, lamp lit, and all that good stuff. You're in my prayers. You're awesome - I love ya!

Lover of Sweets said...

Post away I say! I, personally, love to read your posts (that is when I can actually pull myself away to read). I am sure that I can speak for all your readers..we love the quirkiness of your posts...they are just funny. I get a chuckle every time, I really do.
I am sorry that you guys are feeling so much stress. That's no fun. It's easy to see all the things to stress about once you're already there. I think it's quite productive of you to get it all out in your posts...you're not taking it out on your family (like I would..."YOU #@$%! KIDS GET YOUR LITTLE $%^&! IN BED THIS INSTANT! SO HELP ME!!!")

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