The Pretend Treats Rule

Jesse is sitting in a large cardboard box – a box covered with purple glue-stick glue, magic marker markings, holes punched form a small pair of scissors, and one large gash where the scissors began to remove a flap before they were halted because . . . I still need that box. He is happily setting out pretend treats when, suddenly, in swoops Penny. Without a moment’s hesitation she scoops up the entire pile of pretend treats (I can only assume it was the entire pile . . . they are, after all, invisible) and throws them into her mouth.

I am only partially paying attention. Not thinking much about it. But then Jesse is sobbing, “PENNY!! How dare you! How dare you eat my pretend treats!” He is angrily setting out a new batch of pretend treats and yelling his “how dare yous” when Penny, laughing in disdain, flies in to grab up and devour the new pretend treats.

Soon the yells prove to be too much and I find myself yelling over them, “Penny! Jesse! Stop! We do not yell ‘How dare you’ in our house, and we don’t harass people, and mostly, we don’t pretend to eat people’s pretend treats! Those are very important rules in our family!”

I return to my sweeping and shake my head -- wondering if I really just said that one of the main/staple rules in this home is:
We do NOT pretend to eat one another’s pretend treats.

I guess you have to draw the line somewhere. Pretend treats today, real treats tomorrow. (Shrug). It’s a good enough rule.