Friday, February 11, 2011

Colors, Horoscopes, and the End of the World (Probably)

Someone said a shocking thing to me recently. I had just spoken in church -- not a talk or anything big enough to give you a real feel for me, mind you. I had just been asked to share a few thoughts on a favorite hymn (which the congregation then sang). Our ward does that sometimes in lieu of real musical numbers.

Anyway, a few days later I was talking to our ward Relief Society President when she said, "I was talking to my husband the other night -- you know, after you spoke in sacrament meeting and -- do you know anything about the Color Code personality stuff? (I nodded my head side to side and shrugged a little) You do? Oh, well, I said to my husband, 'She has got to be a yellow!' Have you ever taken the test? I'm sure you are a yellow."

"Oh, I took it once," I said, "I think it said I was a white . . . maybe I did it wrong . . ."

"White? Now that is really surprising. I had you pegged as a yellow for sure. I just don't see you as a white."

Yellow? Do you know much about yellows? They are the fun seekers. Their main motivation is fun (or so the color code folks say)! How must I sound when I speak publicly? Is being called a yellow personality after a good thing? Is it akin to being called, "A real live wire" -- like I once was after giving a lovely Mother's Day talk in a ward for the elderly? Yellow?

And, it may be that some of you haven't the foggiest idea what I am talking about, but you see, according to DR. (yes, I capitalized those for effect) Hartman Ph.D. (yes, I know I already said, "Dr." but I am trying to give him all the credibility I can, even though I have no idea who he is other than: the Color Code guy), but, as I was saying, according to him, we can all be divided into four groups based on color: red, blue, white and yellow. (I know, that was cute of me to make each word the right color, but I couldn't really make white be white or you couldn't read it on the page).

Lots of folks put a tremendous amount of stock in this business, and, when I took the test and read about my being all white and what not, I could see why. My being diagnosed as "white" made perfect sense to me (once I read what on earth it meant): apparently whites are all about calmness and peace and absence of confrontation and tact and needing kindness and a bit too content and non goal oriented (but lovely all the same). I read it and thought, "Yes, that is me. There is nothing in the world worse to me than contention and I hate to ruffle feathers or rock boats and I need people to be really really nice." And perhaps my offer of "maybe I took the test wrong" when my Relief Society President was insisting on my yellowness only further affirms my white-peace- keeping-tendency-ness.

But, back to me coming off as all yellow. WHAT? Wowzers. Sure I like a little humor and cheer and all, but I am actually not one bit fun. That is a sad thing to admit, but it is true, and I don't actually really even care if I have much fun. Boring, I know. But yellows are the ones who, apparently, might be expected to haul you off to do some spur of the moment unexpected fun thing. They are the ones whose enthusiasm keeps the world from being a place of overwhelming and utter boredom for the rest of us.

And I was mistaken for one of them!

Me: who was so reserved and quiet as a child that siblings' friends had no idea of my existence. Me: the rather stodgy no fun girl. And, while I am still absolutely no fun, and the last person in the world to be dragging anybody off on some last minute adventure (if one of those happens, rest assured, it is my husband or one of my sisters dragging me off . . . I am far too boringly content: funless).

BUT, that is not all. Have you heard the news about our astrological signs? Well, let me tell you! I read recently (in our respectable local news no less) that your "sign" is determined by the position of the sun relative to certain constellations on the day you are born. Unfortunately, those positions were determined some 2000+ years ago and really aren't accurate anymore because gravity has done something or other to the earth and changed the alignment of things in the meantime. Do you know what this means? It means that all my Capricorn loving life, I have actually been . . . a SAGITTARIUS! That means instead of being a "stable rock like character," I am something else that I know nothing about (alright, I knew nothing about the Capricorn traits either 'til I just now looked them up -- but stable and rock like sounded nice, and I have always cherished my Capricornness despite knowing nothing about it). Maybe Sagittarius is way better, but it feels all wrong to even consider such a thing. It feels traitorous.

What's to be made of all of this? One hardly knows. Why, I don't even know who I am anymore! One minute I'm a peace loving Capricorn, and the very next, people are calling me a yellow Sagittarius. Maybe even a "yella'" Sagittarius (and we all know that if you are yella' you are a scaredy cat). Geez. Earth shattering. I probably shouldn't have shattered all of your earths as well. This is one case where ignorance would have probably been bliss (I still wish people would stop telling me that Pluto isn't a planet for example). You might even have been able to remain in your happy ignorance (if I hadn't come along and ruined it) because I think this news about the horoscopes being hundreds of years outdated is being kept on the down low. Why, did you know there is even an entire NEW sign? How will society cope if people left and right start discovering that they are not the Scorpio they have always thought themselves to be -- rather, an Ophiuchus? How will they feel knowing that the Babylonians dropped their sorry astrological sign because it made for 13 signs and well . . . 13 is a creepy number? Bedlam. Our entire infrastructure will likely collapse. Sorry for spreading the news of an entire population soon to be verging on identity crises (that's plural for crisis -- pronounced cry-seez . . . plural because there will be so many of us in crisis mode).

Anyway, I am going to go stock up on wheat and rice and water and chickens, and probably let Mike get all the extra guns and ammo he has been wanting. I'll write again soon . . . if the Internet hasn't crashed. Best of luck to all of you. Especially you Ophiuchus folks.


Tia Juana said...

First of all, you are not at all stodgy and I can't figure out why in the world you would describe yourself as that just because you aren't necessarily the life of the party - or at the party! ;)

But really now, can I tell you how much I have always hated that color test! I don't even remember what color I was but when I took the test it was very clear that I was supposed to be the anal, intense, out of control OCD freak of a color - whichever one it was! And the reason I hate the test so much was that while it called attention to all the traits that described me perfectly, they aren't necessarily the traits I want people describing about me. "Oh, she's that color because she is super organized and anal!" There isn't a lot of room for branching out to other colors and acknowledging the fact that even though I am those things, I am also fun and at times can be peaceful! It totally goes against my religion because I believe that even though we are born with specific talents, we can absolutely develop other great qualities and just like it says in the D&C we can acquire other gifts of the spirit! The fact that your RS friend said she thought you were yellow and you are surely a white illustrates this point - you are one thing but you can also very much be another! I mean, look at those mud wrestling pictures of you on Facebook - that's no whitey white white there! I rest my case.

And also, I'm so relieved to look and see that I'm still a Pisces. (or however you spell it.)

Okay - no more stodgy. I declared it so because I'm anal and controlling.

marzee said...

What if you're color blind? My Dad's color blind. And guess what . . . I am officially whatever that new horrorscope (and yes, I said horror) sign is - the one that sounds like a kind of dinosaur. I have no idea what to make of that.

marzee said...

Wait, no. Now I'm a taurus. Apparently - the first article I read had it wrong? Wait . . . . actually - astrology has had it wrong - all my life. I bet those people living their lives via horoscope insight all this time feel a bit cheated right about now.
Anyone know anything about taurus? (Gemini was a little off for me anyway). Shucks - at this point I say we just try them all and pick whichever one we like the most.

Perla said...

although i like what jana said, you aren't yellow at all. i never took the test. i wonder why your rs pres would think you are yellow? i'm far from yellow myself, as you've described it. i wonder what color is the one where you love to speak in public because that is the one that my ward has dubbed for me. since being in this ward for only 6 weeks--one of which was stake conference--i have already taught gospel doctrine twice, have to teach relief society next week, and have to speak in sacrament meeting the following week. a real talk. and not our family. just me. but i don't know what color they think that is. jason told me i should just keep my big mouth shut and stop giving insightful, intelligent comments in sunday school. i think he was complimenting me in a back-handed way but i don't know. anyway...if i had a color around me it should be a very calming shade of aqua green. the end.

jocelyn said...

you are most certainly fun! but, aside from that, i think it's funny how people can peg someone a certain way without knowing much about them. i think we all have different sides we show around different people. someone's spouse is probably the best judge of someone's "color". all interesting though.

Amy said...

Ha, what the @#& are you talking about? You are about the funnest person I know. Maybe you aren't yellow, but rather a creamy, buttermint yellow. Ummmm I do love real homemade buttermints. Oh wait, I got off track, or tract or trek or whatever....

Ry said...

Good news to all: The color code test is a whole bunch of bull. I recently finished a psychometrics class.. sounds informative right? Well it had its moments but more than once my teacher ragged on the validity of the "color code personality test". It is hog wash! So never fear color does not define you but if you are interested in figuring out how to define your personality look into the Big Five theory or the MMPI-2

Krista said...

I'm a yellow. My motivator is fun. I just want to know why there wasn't a pink thrown in there? Because I'm sure I would be pink. Princesses are always pink. :)

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