Friday, January 14, 2011

WAIT!

Look at this terribly overexposed picture. I realize that, photographically speaking, it is a complete wash out (hohoha -- yes, pun intended, aren't I the clever one). But when I looked at it on my camera, and later on my computer, I just . . . kept looking at it. The way my three littlest ones were heading off into all that whiteness -- unconcerned and unhurried as can be, but with no intention of stopping or saying farewell; only one last acknowledging look from Goldie -- made me feel sort of saddish. It made me feel like they were all heading off into the next life or into some unknown future . . . with out me. And every time I see it I want to say, "Hey! Wait you three! Stop! Don't leave with out me! Turn back!" And yet I feel certain that even if I did call they would do no more than smile comfortingly back and continue on . . . and that I wouldn't be able to follow them. Silly. I know. But I feel like I'm in a dream and that is happening whenever I see it. Then, somewhat comically, I think, "What's with the warm coats? Do you need to be all bundled up to go where you're going?"

2 comments:

Perla said...

yes, i see exactly what you are saying and feeling..until i focus on the brown, puffy coat and then i wonder what you're talking about.

Tia Juana said...

This just makes me want to cry. The kids .... the going off into the great unknown....but really now, what kind of mother are you letting one of them go without a coat?

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