Friday, January 14, 2011
Look at this terribly overexposed picture. I realize that, photographically speaking, it is a complete wash out (hohoha -- yes, pun intended, aren't I the clever one). But when I looked at it on my camera, and later on my computer, I just . . . kept looking at it. The way my three littlest ones were heading off into all that whiteness -- unconcerned and unhurried as can be, but with no intention of stopping or saying farewell; only one last acknowledging look from Goldie -- made me feel sort of saddish. It made me feel like they were all heading off into the next life or into some unknown future . . . with out me. And every time I see it I want to say, "Hey! Wait you three! Stop! Don't leave with out me! Turn back!" And yet I feel certain that even if I did call they would do no more than smile comfortingly back and continue on . . . and that I wouldn't be able to follow them. Silly. I know. But I feel like I'm in a dream and that is happening whenever I see it. Then, somewhat comically, I think, "What's with the warm coats? Do you need to be all bundled up to go where you're going?"