Monday, December 13, 2010


It is not, in fact, terribly surprising that Abe is now ten. I have actually been thinking of him as a ten year old for the past several months.
But, when I look at Jesse, or even Penny, I can't imagine them becoming ten year olds. I'm sure that when Abe was my little toddler (and he was such a good and darling little toddler) it must have been the same -- I'm sure I had no idea of what he would look like, act like, and be doing as a ten year old boy. It must have seemed impossible that he would get that old . . . and yet, he did get that old, and it has seemed the most normal process in the world.
What scares me about this, and what I keep thinking in a mind boggling sort of way, is that surely, if ten years have passed as I raised my first born, another ten years will also pass by. Which means that as soon as I've raised Abe once again for the same number of years that I have raised him so far, he will be a TWENTY YEAR OLD! This all seems too fast. Ten years taking him from a baby to an older kid is one thing, but ten years taking him from a kid to an adult is quite another! Surely nature has made some mistake in allowing them to leave childhood and take on adulthood in such a shockingly fast manner? The thing is, even when I couldn't see how my tiny newborn could possibly become a ten year old, the concept of being a mother to a ten year old wasn't so strange. I could be that. What I simply can't comprehend being is the mother of a twenty year old. How could I be that? Who even is that? Just as certainly as I don't know the twenty year old Abe, I have no idea about the Nancy who could be his mother! Goodness. (playing birthday games and opening presents)
Even still, Abe, I'm quite happy that I get to raise you during your upcoming ten years (the first ten have certainly been great), and I am awfully, incredibly glad that I get to be your mother for all of eternity beyond those next ten years as well. What a lucky lucky thing to have you sent to me for my first ever experience of being a mom.


marzee said...

Oh Nanc - he is just getting cuter by the second! I especially love that last picture of him. Yes - can't imagine being a mother of a twenty something year old. I can't think that far. I'm just trying to picture getting to homeowner status again. Maybe in 5 years? ugh. Crazy part - is when I can finally own a house again . . . Bert will be 13ish . . .YW's and dances looming - and Action will have the Priesthood! It's just all so strange.

Jill said...

How you manage to put thoughts into words in such a perfect way I will never know. But I am very glad that you do it and that I get to read it. Although it wouldn't have sounded nearly as good if I wrote it, I have had those very thoughts. And I so enjoyed the stroll down memory lane today with the Jerusalem notes. It made my day!

jami said...

wow ... i can't believe you have a ten year old! aren't our kids supposed to be little LITTLE people forever?? :) but it's all good ... and your kids are all so cute (i love the festive pic at the top of your blog)

Perla said...

great job on the pics. i love abe. i cry every time i think about him giving andre $5 from when he got his head banged open. i didn't know he gave it to him until after he did and you were gone. i didn't want to allow it, but i could just see that abe felt so bad and was just trying so hard to see what he could possibly do to make his little cousin feel better.

BS and the Kids said...

Oh Nancy, how I have been thinking that so much lately with my oldest just turning 8. I keep thinking how in only a little over 10 years he will be going on his mission and how fast that time does go by! And just like Jill said, you say it best. I could never have said it like you do.

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