Saturday, October 10, 2009

Strollers and an Orange Mystery

My son does not like strollers.

Did you hear me? He doesn't like STROLLERS!

He doesn't like sitting in strollers; he doesn't like walking in strollers; he doesn't like RUNNING in strollers; and, as far as I know, he doesn't like LOOKING at strollers.

Babies like strollers. They like outside. They like to be OUTSIDE in STROLLERS! It's their favorite thing.

I keep telling Jesse this.

He doesn't understand.

In other news:

I was reading my book last night and wondering why it was covered in orange stuff.

Orange stuff on the inside cover. Orange stuff on the edges of the pages. Orange smears here and there on pages.

Well, I wasn't wondering like, "How on earth could orange stuff get on my book . . . my NEW book?!" That would be a ridiculous thing for a mother of five children under nine to wonder.

I was wondering more like, "What is this orange stuff? Cheetos? Or . . . gritty markers . . . maybe? Or . . . ? And when did this happen? It was clean when I was last reading."

Then I had a flash back.

It was just like in a movie where someone is trying to solve the mystery of their mysterious past (you know, when they can't remember their past and then they remember it in tiny tidbits here and there that eventually help them to solve the mystery of their . . . present? I guess).

I saw Penny sitting on the couch the previous night with a book.

Then it flashed to me saying, "Mike, look how cute. Penny is just sitting there reading my book -- even though it has no pictures! She seems totally interested in it!" (Interested in getting it orange, you are thinking).

Then, like in the movies, where the flashbacks don't all occur in the right order, I flashed back to earlier in the evening -- we were eating spaghetti for dinner.

Then I flashed to getting her out of her highchair . . . and removing her bib . . . and WHAT!!?? My flash was disrupted the minute I remembered. Like in slow motion I saw: setting -- her -- down -- with -- out -- washing -- her -- hands. NOOOO!!!

And then of course, it all made perfect sense. The mystery was solved, and I knew that there was no chance that hands that orange could have only gotten to my book, and I wondered where to start looking for more orange stains.

The end

Do you like how I broke things into so so many little paragraphs today? It was for effect -- special effect . . . or maybe affect. I can't remember.

The real end.


Amy said...

What is is with orange "stuff". Why not green, blue, purple, tan?? I remember walking into my room, in our new house, with my new beautiful, expensive brocade sort of cream comforter laying smoothly across my bed, pillows in place and two little three year old cousins, Allie and Jazzy, eating a huge bag of cheetos. The Cheetos of course weren't in the bag but spread out in little pile--crumpled piles. GAWK!!! "Wait, don't touch anything else, no, stop wiping your hands on my bed, no stop rolling on the broken pieces noooooo"

Perla said...

i love the "nooooo" thought in slow motion and then the frantic scary music in the background. awesome.

and jesse really should learn that about strollers. maybe he would like one behind a bike? its actually a trailer and maybe he'd like it?

Jill said...

Maybe Jesse wants to run with his mom and can't be bothered with riding around not getting any exercise at all. I have always wondered after I get home from the park, having pushed kids on swings and pushed them around in strollers, why I bother. They still have all kinds of energy and I am the tired one.
I love how you noted that a mother of 5 shouldn't wonder at all how it happened that your book was orange, just which one did it and how.

Karen said...

So does Jesse like to push strollers? It seems that all of my children preferred that to any other activity involved with strollers.

Oh....marinara surprise at your house. For me when this happens, it finally all clues in a few minutes before I am expecting house guests and suddenly see all the flavors of finger prints on walls, light switches, windows, door knobs and my clothes.

Mugsy said...

Yeah I like how you broke it up like that. It made my small brain feel like it wasn't reading as much as it normally does. ANd so it was all good. Than my mind started skipping as I read your flash backs and it is still skipping from one thought to another. I have no idea when this craziness is going to stop. Now I feel like it is insanity I AM dealing with and not just my extremely clogged and sickly head from this crazy cold I have had for the last couple days...I AM THINKing I better proof read i AM thinking maybe proof read tomorrow when your Japanese Cartoon post has stopped throwing me into convulsions.....

Nancy said...

Ohhh, that Japanese convulsion causing cartoon line was not half bad Megs. I am still chuckling.

Liz said...

I was just wondering through that entire post what book is it... what book? I'm sorry to say I was so preoccupied with the hope that you would reveal what book you just got that the scary effects were lost on me and they had no affect at all. :)

Nancy said...

Well, Liz, I would have mentioned the book if it was one I thought would sound cool . . . but it is just some little young adult level book from some series called "The Fairytale Detectives." and it is called The Sister's Grimm. And it is only very medium. I just bought it when it was sitting on a shelf for like 4 bucks somewhere . . .

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