Still Here

Thanks for all of your nice recent comments. For those of you checking in -- wondering if I have a baby, I don't.

It is silly because everything you read says that up to two weeks before or AFTER your due date is "normal," but it doesn't feel normal. And honestly, I have NEVER heard of anyone going two weeks past their due date. Probably people used to, but it seems like if anyone is even one day past their due date these days they are immediately induced. I have nothing against being induced. Probably half of my many nieces and nephews came happily into this world after an induction. I always am so excited when one of my loved ones are getting started and I know a new little one will be here shortly, but, for some reason, I have never wanted to be induced myself. I don't know why exactly. I have no concerns about it or how it would go and if there was any reason to worry my baby was too big, or there was low fluid, or anything, I would IMMEDIATELY opt for an induction. I think it is just that I never have been and truly, as much as I go insane waiting, that whole ending of wondering when and then suddenly thinking, "Oh my goodness, I think I'm in labor!" is so fun to me and so part of the package deal of my pregnancies that I feel cheated to miss it. It is really pretty much the highlight of the entire pregnancy for me. Plus, Mike is also all about letting nature take its course as long as baby seems fine. He is much more calm about things and doesn't see why the exact date is such a big deal or why we have to force baby out if it doesn't come on that day. So, he helps me feel calm . . . but he is all that does.

Everything else makes me feel very very frustrated! And unfortunately, the due date IS a big deal to me. You spend nine months counting to that day -- and assuming you will have a baby BY that day. There is something about going past that day, especially several days passed, that makes you truly begin to feel like you will never go into labor. It is just so disappointing. Obviously, the day baby comes, I will think nothing of how many days extra I was pregnant, but right now, it is all I think about. I wake up at 5:00 or 6:00 am every morning and can't go back to sleep because I feel so frustrated and disappointed. I don't feel like seeing people because they all wonder what on earth I am still doing here. It is even more frustrating because I feel like everyone just thinks I'm stupid for still being pregnant (especially frustrated pregnant) when I could so easily not be (mind you, I know everyone doesn't really think that, I just feel that way because well, it is partly true, and every person who hears I'm past due does sadly comment, "Oh, won't your doctor start you?").

I think I am most let down because I feel like I will have to be induced, but because I don't want to, I will have had the added frustration of hoping and waiting for another week which will have been pointless if I am to be induced anyway. Oh, I know logically this is all so ridiculous of me, but honestly I feel like crying every day! I was able to be patient over the weekend because there were fun things to do, but today -- sending Mike off to work, back to doing school with the kids (I've scheduled them a week off whenever baby arrives) is so anti climatic to assuming we'd have a baby by now. I'm sorry I keep not answering anyone's phone calls -- even my most loving well intentioned siblings. I just feel like I will burst into tears or totally unreasonable frustration to have to continue saying, "No, nothing is happening," to anyone. Why am I such a wreck!!?