Thursday, November 13, 2008

Some of my thoughts

When I went off to spend a semester in Jerusalem long ago, I was a bit nervous. Never mind that I was already a junior in college. I had never lived away from home and my fun sisters, and I was quite a wimpy little homebody. Still, despite my homesickness, I was so so happy there -- that kind of happy that is just extremely full of peace. One day as I randomly opened my scriptures my eyes fell on these verses in Doctrine and Covenants 111 : 7-10 part of which reads: ". . . And the place where it is my will that you should tarry, for the main, shall be signalized unto you by the peace and power of my Spirit, that shall flow unto you. . . . inquire diligently concerning the more ancient inhabitants and founders of this city; For there are more treasures than one for you in this city."

Needless to say, that was one of those times when the scriptures really spoke directly to me, and I felt validation that I was exactly where I needed to be.

Lately the first part of those verses I just wrote keeps coming to my mind, "And the place where it is my will that you should tarry, for the main, shall be signalized unto you by the peace and power of my Spirit, that shall flow unto you." I so much want to feel that about finding a neighborhood and a house.

We have so many questions and things to consider -- particularly since we don't know if we will be moving into our "forever" location or another temporary one. I know that having the Holy Ghost entitles us to divine guidance and I remember hearing Packer or someone once say how severely we under use that gift. It's just sometimes it is so clear (particularly after the fact) that the Spirit has guided you. Other times, like now, there are so many other factors influencing my feelings -- excitement over certain home features, questions over pricing, thoughts over distance from family, from Mike's work, etc. -- that my mind seems too jumbled full of things to pick out what influences are from the Spirit and which are just my own crazy desires. I guess my desires need somehow match up with what the Lord's are (which is fine . . . if I knew what they were). We almost offered on a house the other day (it is a long story, but we only had a one day window to make the offer). It was probably the best deal and closest to what we've been looking for (in our price range) that we have seen, but we just couldn't feel certain about it . . . and now we keep rethinking it and wondering if we made a poor decision by not making the offer.

At the same time, I know we can't just expect all our decisions to be made for us. I think very often the Lord expects us to use our reasoning (coupled with prayer of course) to make a wise decision before that decision is confirmed. You know, the old taking a step or two into the darkness before that light shines to illuminate the way again. (So, it would be nice to feel a confirming anwer that we made the right choice the other day! Maybe we really didn't). I just really keep thinking of that scripture. I want to find a home, and I want to feel that peace that it is a good and right place for us to be. I feel so unsure of things right now though that it makes me think I'll never earn that feeling or worry that I'm not being spiritual enough to receive the guidance we could so very much use!

7 comments:

Tia Juana said...

Oh how I wish I had some very profound thing to say that would be a salve to your worries - like a "hipster" place online to find your answers to your housing woes - ones that only you and you alone need answered. A "From God with Love to You" website. Sadly, I don't have it or anything better. Maybe I'll see it on another blog just like the baby names site. I'll keep you posted. Although....I do not doubt that whenever you do find the right place to abide, you main stay, it will be the most awesome place ever - with bedazzed curtains and such which we will match you with because I just bought ET a GeMagic for Christmas. Honest, I did.

Peace out. Truly, I hope you can.

Perla said...

i have a feeling that you will feel a peace when you know where you are supposed to be. maybe it won't be the biggest or nicest house that you hoped for but you will just feel really good and peaceful about it. that scripture was often and i think it will apply in this situation. i will pray for that!

jami said...

i agree with shannon, that you'll feel it when you find it. ... when we were moving out here we looked and looked and prayed and worried and wanted all those things that would be good for our family but in the right place (because i KNOW that we were lead to where we were in n.o. :) )and i wanted that same experience here. things were a little different but it just feels good where we are and i know this is a good place for us - the right place for us right now. He knows what you're doing ... your worries and concerns ... it will all work out. it always does. :)

Tia Juana said...

Yeah, what they said, because who needs a website????

Women Afire said...

Ohhh Nanc. I know it's so hard. We oft times just want it spelled out for us, it would make things so much easier! You'll find it and I'm sure that with the people you are, that the Lord will be there with you and you'll feel that comfort and peace in your decisions. You're wonderful and I'm confident that you'll find your little piece of Heaven on Earth very soon. Your in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your chin up!
-Marzee

Melissa, Ryan and Addy said...

I really hope that everything works out for you guys with finding a place to live. I'm sure it will, because you are a woman full of faith and a desire to follow the Spirit. I'm sure your husband is the same way (except for the woman part, that is!) Also, I read a blog that's called Confessions of a Pioneer Women. Very funny lady who writes it, but she homeschools her kids. Anyway, she has a portion of her blog dedicated to resources for homeschooling which I thought might be of interest to you. The link is
http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/
Okay, my long comment is now ending!

Liz said...

I'm probably a litte late on leaving comment, but I think you made the right choice. Like the others said, when you decide on a certain house you will feel right about it and there will be no confusion. One of my favorite scripture passages is where it tells to make your choice and then pray about it and if it is right all other thoughts will leave your mind and you will be at peace. If you feel confusion then it is not right. I really should look up those scriptures and memorize them.

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