When I went off to spend a semester in Jerusalem long ago, I was a bit nervous. Never mind that I was already a junior in college. I had never lived away from home and my fun sisters, and I was quite a wimpy little homebody. Still, despite my homesickness, I was so so happy there -- that kind of happy that is just extremely full of peace. One day as I randomly opened my scriptures my eyes fell on these verses in Doctrine and Covenants 111 : 7-10 part of which reads: ". . . And the place where it is my will that you should tarry, for the main, shall be signalized unto you by the peace and power of my Spirit, that shall flow unto you. . . . inquire diligently concerning the more ancient inhabitants and founders of this city; For there are more treasures than one for you in this city."
Needless to say, that was one of those times when the scriptures really spoke directly to me, and I felt validation that I was exactly where I needed to be.
Lately the first part of those verses I just wrote keeps coming to my mind, "And the place where it is my will that you should tarry, for the main, shall be signalized unto you by the peace and power of my Spirit, that shall flow unto you." I so much want to feel that about finding a neighborhood and a house.
We have so many questions and things to consider -- particularly since we don't know if we will be moving into our "forever" location or another temporary one. I know that having the Holy Ghost entitles us to divine guidance and I remember hearing Packer or someone once say how severely we under use that gift. It's just sometimes it is so clear (particularly after the fact) that the Spirit has guided you. Other times, like now, there are so many other factors influencing my feelings -- excitement over certain home features, questions over pricing, thoughts over distance from family, from Mike's work, etc. -- that my mind seems too jumbled full of things to pick out what influences are from the Spirit and which are just my own crazy desires. I guess my desires need somehow match up with what the Lord's are (which is fine . . . if I knew what they were). We almost offered on a house the other day (it is a long story, but we only had a one day window to make the offer). It was probably the best deal and closest to what we've been looking for (in our price range) that we have seen, but we just couldn't feel certain about it . . . and now we keep rethinking it and wondering if we made a poor decision by not making the offer.
At the same time, I know we can't just expect all our decisions to be made for us. I think very often the Lord expects us to use our reasoning (coupled with prayer of course) to make a wise decision before that decision is confirmed. You know, the old taking a step or two into the darkness before that light shines to illuminate the way again. (So, it would be nice to feel a confirming anwer that we made the right choice the other day! Maybe we really didn't). I just really keep thinking of that scripture. I want to find a home, and I want to feel that peace that it is a good and right place for us to be. I feel so unsure of things right now though that it makes me think I'll never earn that feeling or worry that I'm not being spiritual enough to receive the guidance we could so very much use!