A THOUSAND MORNINGS
by Mary Oliver
All night my heart makes its way
however it can over the rough ground
of uncertainties, but only until night
meets and then is overwhelmed by
morning, the light deepening, the
wind easing and just waiting, as I
too wait (and when have I ever been
disappointed?) for redbird to sing.
I chanced upon that after a sleepless, worry-filled night and felt a tiny glint of sunlight split the heavy clouds in my soul.
"[W]hen have I ever been disappointed?" Never. Even in the waiting. I do know "redbird" will eventually sing.
But I shall tell you a funny thing. On this particular morning, I felt like I just desperately needed someone to reach out to me with words of comfort. I didn't know what those comforting words should be. I just wanted Heavenly Father to acknowledge my need by sending someone to my aid with just the right inspiration. I even prayed and asked Him to.
And do you know what happened? Almost immediately a niece texted asking for help with a serious problem she was having. Hahah. I had a good cry and told Heavenly Father I didn't think I had it in me to help anyone at the moment but that I would try if He would help me. And then I did my best to comfort her.
This very same thing has happened several times before. I've prayed for someone to be sent to help me ... and someone is immediately sent to ask me for help.
The Lord seems to have quite the sense-of-humor.
Another example?
When Starling was born, school mornings were so difficult--particularly just the business of driving the kids to school. Loading up a newborn and multiple toddlers (along with the school kids) with Starling inevitably crying to nurse (because I'd either had to wake her up to get her in the car or she'd already been waiting to eat while I helped get kids ready for school) just felt like such a difficult and hectic part of every day.
I knew my ministering sister likely would be happy to know some way to help me. And she had a daughter she drove to school each morning. I should have just asked her to pick up my kids as well, but I was too embarrassed or proud and just couldn't bring myself to. Instead, I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father if He would just plant that idea in her head, just nudge her to offer help in that way.
A day or two after offering that prayer, my ministering sister did reach out to me. She was having some back issues ... and wondered if I could pick her daughter up for school in the mornings for awhile.
Ohhh I chuckle just remembering it.
And I actually loved that ministering sister. I was happy to help while she struggled with issues of her own that I hadn't known about.
Even still, I couldn't help but look sideways at the heavens and mumble, "Really, Heavenly Father?"
I don't know exactly why the Lord has occasionally chosen to respond to my pleas for help in this way.
Perhaps, each time, He was saying, "Oh buck up, Nancy. Things aren't as bad as you think. And you can do much more than you suppose."
Or perhaps it was just His knowledge that the best medicine for me would be to forget myself in helping another.
Those things are both probably true.
But I have a feeling that it is something bigger than that. Something tied to heavenly law and blessings predicated on obedience. The feeling I have is that there are channels of blessing and strength that can only be opened upon our willing sacrifice and service to others and that when I have most needed serious help, God has not ignored my plea, rather, He has given me immediate opportunities that would then somehow allow me to claim and receive greater strength, answers, and help.
That's my thoughts on the matter.
And I should add that many times in my life I have had friends and family reach out to provide just the comfort and help I need, so it isn't as if God only responds by giving me a chore. Haha.
And now.
Empanada making:
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