Friday, February 8, 2013

Happy Fancy-Pants Almost Valentine’s Day


Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.

It’s no small thing being loved by people. No small thing having people to love.

And there are so many to love in my world.

I have gotten a little better in the past year or two at  reaching inside of myself and pulling out love – strong, hopeful, and glowing red (or maybe pink?) – and handing it confidently over to those who should always have a claim on it.

I know. All of mankind should have a claim on it. And, I have improved there a little too.

But there are many within my sphere that deserve – simply by their existing – to always have a surety of that love. 

There are still holes: still so many, even among just my family, that I need to make aware of my unconditional acceptance and adoration without reserve.

I have improved though.

I have two aunts – my father’s one remaining sister, and my mom’s half-sister – who never seemed to make frequency of contact or even lack of awareness about happenings in my life be any sort of hindrance to their love for me – any sort of excuse to miss a hug or expression of concern or affection.

I always knew that, in their mind, I belonged to them. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing or even how much they knew of it. I was theirs. They loved me.

That is what I want to be, and that is where I have been growing in tiny little steps.

It makes me realize that I do like some things about getting older. I like seeing small smidgens of growth; small increases in understanding and compassion. I like having less hesitancy and more certainty.

Loving people well sometimes feels strangely like physical pain. But it also feels like completeness and wholeness and happiness and rightness.

And it has been kind of spectacular for me to see – as I’ve sought to give love a little more openly and with a little less worry about what anyone might think -- how quickly it bursts into flame; lights up inside me, all real and true and bright, just from its having been offered.

And, because I can’t always think of a perfectly good excuse for every picture I want to share, I will end with these:

We took our kids to Christmas Village with their out-of-state cousins this past December. My sister-in-law
Rhonda took these two pictures of Anders and I that, to be honest, I thought I looked rather darling in (there . . . I said it . . . no making excuses for why I shared these two!).

Rhonda did lend me her gloves. (My hands were frozen solid. . . . I hope that doesn’t mean her hands had to be frozen solid instead? Hmm. I like to think she had two pair.) Anyway, we all must admit that these pictures wouldn’t look nearly so cute had I just had plain old hands and wrists coming out of too-short coat sleeves.

Also, Jesse’s new past-time:

Imagine, if I’d let him plug it in, how ironed all our jammies would be!


Jaymerz said...

You look fabulous!! Share away, and the gloves are adorable!! I love the cute valentine's pictures, so fun!!

Julie said...

Love is pretty wonderful isn't it. I need to do better at being in pictures. As I get older I'm not as pleased with the look I sport, but I am trying to be OK with it. Little by little, right? :)

Perla said...

Oh what a lovely post. And you do look SOOO darling in those photos! I want to be Aunt Penny or Aunt Joan to my family, too. Must work on it more, but am trying, too. Luckily loving you is a cinch!

Life with Kaishon said...

Hi Nancy, I was just at my friend Julie Rivera's blog and I read your VERY sweet comment above mine to her and I just had to come to meet you.

First of all, how great is your blog title! A chicken in a window well! I FREAKING love it : )

Next, I agree, those gloves are the best. You look awesome. Like a totally chic mama with her little love!

Lastly, I love how you write. I didn't want your post to end. It was so nice to meet you tonight. Your family looks darling.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend.


jami said...

nancy - as always, you say it so well. you have an amazing way with words. love, love, love what you have to say. :)
and i love the pics too. how nice to see you in a few. :)

Nancy said...

Ah, Jam, I miss you! Can't you update us on life in TX? I hope hope you are feeling settled and "home" and happy -- or at least like you are getting there!

Andrea said...

I love this post! I like what you said about getting older--seeing little bits of growth. I've been thinking about that a lot lately.

Mr.Mrs.Pack. said...

First off, just fyi, YOU are a great aunt (: I know you always make me feel loved and like you genuinely care about my life and my brothers etc. Second, I love those Valentine's pictures you took. And lastly, you most certainly do look beautiful in those photos! It's quite the compliment when people say I look like my aunt Nancy. . . Which makes me think, we need a picture of us (;

suiren said...

First of all, thank you very much for stopping my blog and leave your encouraging comment!
Visiting your blog, I am impressed with lots of your wise words here. ( Your kids are lucky to have you as their mother!)

>Loving people well sometimes feels strangely like physical pain.
>But it also feels like completeness and wholeness and happiness and rightness.

I really feel the same:)

Ashley said...

Those two pictures of you are incredibly gorgeous and you did the right thing in sharing them. Just thinking about you NOT posting them for me to enjoy...well, its rather upsetting. I love your face. Its beautiful...because it really is a very attractive face physically...and because you are probably the sweetest, most genuine person on the planet.

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