Saturday, January 19, 2013

Wanting to Push the Pause and Play Button All at Once

You are probably too old for me to be giving you bottles.

And for weeks I have put off letting you have your first haircut. The one you rather desperately need.

It’s not that I mind you getting older.

In fact, I rather like it. I like being surprised several times a day by new perfect little words coming out of your perfect little mouth. I like seeing you interact more and more with your siblings. I like watching you decide what to do with your time – “Self, let’s go upstairs and throw all the Little People through the railings again.” “Self, let’s go point at the cup on the counter and cry ‘milk’ as best as we can.” “Self, let’s go sneak that red toy car from Jesse again – even though we know he’ll come yelling for it the minute he notices like he did the other 14 times we snuck it from him today.” “Self, let’s head up to our room and pull blanky out from the between the slats in our crib.”

It’s just while you grow older and learn and change, I want to keep this you as well.

I still want to hear the exact drawn out way you plead, “show” – your little lips staying pursed in the “oh” for some time -- when you want to watch your Baby Einstein animals. I still want to see you struggle and kick and yell and hydroplane on your tummy as you try to climb onto our coffee table all by your self and then your triumphant smile as you stand and carefully say (as you’ve heard your siblings say when they are doing something special), “watch”. I want to hear your small voice whisper reverent gibberish in a tone of awe whenever you see something that strikes you as absolutely wonderful and special – even if it is just a light fixture.

I just want little perfect packages of you at every stage all lined up neatly in a row for me. The new stages still coming, and the now ones never ever leaving.


Perla said...

My feelings about Miles and Lila exactly. Great photos of that amazing little man.

Unifer said...

do you photoshop your photos? they are amazing!!

Nancy said...

Well bless your heart! Thank you little miss Unifer pants!!

I only have a crummy outdated version of photoshop elements. I consider myself to be a bit of an editing novice but have learned enough to make my pics pop a little more than they otherwise might. I mostly just adjust my blacks in levels, then adjust brightness and contrast.

About three years ago we sold a little truck we had. Mike told me I ought to buy a nice camera since I liked taking pics, so I did . . . then felt wasteful to have a nice one without knowing how to really use it. So . . . I slowly starting learning -- mostly through googling stuff. Mostly very small steps. Every now and then a bit of an "AH-HA!" break through in how to handle lighting to get just the right shot.

For the first year I didn't even think of editing because I knew I would be too overwhelmed. After that, I finally started doing a bit but don't have the passion for editing that I do for taking photos, so I have stayed very beginner in those skills (for example, that last picture of Anders shows how chapped his poor winter skin is. I am sure someone with a bit more knowledge could smooth that right out . . . but how??)

Anywho . .. was that a bit more than you asked? Yes. Yes it was. Oh dear. So like me. BUT! Thank you thank you for the compliment! Since I mostly only take pics of my own kids and don't have "clients" I don't get to hear a ton of positive feedback. Thank you!

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