Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Not bad for all its lengthyness

So, jewelry. Lately I've been noticing that a little jewelry really can make an outfit. For example, I have several plain black dresses that I'll wear with nothing but some plain black shoes. Nice enough, but compare me -- high stiff collar, tight hair bun, etc. to the girl sitting in the next isle over (I guess we are at church) who has paired her plain black dress with a red necklace and red shoes -- and well, you see what I mean. In truth, there is actually no high stiff collar or tight bun in my ensemble -- though there could be a tight ponytail. I just wanted to give a proper perspective in the difference a little jewelry can make. Speaking of buns, they are great. . . . Only, after about seven years of marriage I discovered that Mike is not and has never been particularly fond of buns in any shape or form. Now I occasionally like to tease Mike that I am going to "go change into something a little more comfortable" when I am headed off to put my hair up in a bun -- complete with a scrunchy (yes, I know that scrunchies could be a whole post of their own and no self respecting woman should admit to using one in this decade) -- and wash my face.

Anyway, so jewelry can make a big difference in your outfit. On a side note, I know there are those of you reading my post who know that a "handbag" is what really makes the outfit. The trouble is, you have to have a certain amount of cool to know and actually be a part of the "cool handbags" culture. You know, like the movie stars with their fancy little clutches and what not. I fear I am years off from being able to participate in this level of outfit completion as I must have a purse (is a purse even the same as a handbag?) with a long enough strap that it can be draped over my neck and shoulder so I won't lose it while I am carrying the various other outfit additions of my present life -- children, babies, diaper bags, bags of groceries, etc. So, even if I was carrying a cool handbag, it would be completely obscured (as pretty much my whole outfit is anyway) by the other items I am carrying. I suppose I could be hip enough to get an ultra cool diaper bag, but it just isn't the same. Besides, when it comes to diapers it is really hard for me to step outside of the practical box into the realm of exciting. Some of you manage it. I know. AND, speaking of handbags (which is not what we are speaking about -- we are speaking about jewelry, and even that isn't really what I am posting about. In the end you will all be horrifyingly shocked at how very very off topic my mind is capable of wandering. Although -- come to think of it -- you might simply be impressed at how I unwaveringly make my way through these twists and turns BACK on track). So, handbags. That makes me think of handbaskets and if any of you know anything you will immediately laugh and think (as I always think), "What exactly is a handbasket? And why on earth is anyone going to h-e-double toothpicks in one?" Then you will think of that bumper sticker that says, "Why am I in this handbasket and where am I going?" And you will chuckle some more. Perhaps one of you out there knows the origin of this statement and can fill me in.

Now, really back to jewelry (which will eventually lead me to what I was actually going to say). So, blah blah blah, jewelry makes an outfit. Now, the question is, why oh why do I so rarely ever wear jewelry? I love how it looks. I don't actually have much, but some for goodness sakes. In fact, my very very favorite thing is a locket Mike gave me because not only cute, but personal or sentimental or whatever it is you feel when putting on a necklace that contains pictures of those you love right inside it. Anyway, I generally wear some jewelry on Sundays, and lately (probably to combat the feelings of overall largeness brought on by this stage of pregnancy) I have been trying to wear some earrings and possibly a few bracelets on normal days, and by doing this, I finally discovered why I haven't been wearing jewelry all this time. No, it isn't because little hands grab at it or even because it hangs too close to my neck if I lie down and I can't bare something wrapped tightly around my neck (I can hardly even stand a turtleneck -- it's some sort of neck related claustrophobia I guess). It is really because I am lazy. It's weird, I do my hair, I put on makeup, I shower. Those all take far more time than sticking on a pair of earrings, but for some reason, deep down, it seems very tiresome and time consuming to add these little items when I am otherwise ready.

Then, after making that realization I started discovering all sorts of bizarre and ridiculous things that I don't do because they seem very hard and time consuming when actually they would take mere seconds! For example, I will walk around the house pretty much blind after removing my contacts at night -- even try to squint my way into enjoying something Mike points out to me on the TV all because it seems far too much effort to open the case that holds my glasses and put them on (unless of course I am certain I will be up for a few good hours). And what about tieing shoes? How long does that take? I really should live in CA or somewhere because I can seldom force myself into anything other than flip flops all because of how very tiring it might be to lace something or even reach down and pull something on (admittedly this is understandable when you are this pregnant, but all of the time?).

Certainly we all have things we are lazy about -- lazily not wanting to do the dishes, get ready for the day, make lunch for our kids; but these seem legitimate as they do take some amount of effort. Why would I shun the five second tasks that perhaps even make life more enjoyable (like making it so I can see)? Perhaps that is the whole real trouble behind the handbags (which once again was never what this post was about and somehow took up most of this post) -- I am probably too lazy to take the few seconds of time it would take to switch my wallet and keys from one cute bag to another so as it would compliment my outfit.

Oh well, now that I know these things I can battle them. I am totally going to put my glasses on tonight after I take out my contacts. Maybe. And, I should mention that I do actually have a really cute purse that Mike gave me for my birthday. Of course we haven't established whether or not a purse is a handbag, but I do like my purse, and I'd like it even better if I hadn't managed to leak some type of oil all over one spot making a nice gray circle. See? What good would a super fancy handbag do for me anyway?

P.S. Does anyone know whether or not the things I put in my eyes to see are indeed contacTs (as I have thus referred to them in this post) and not contacs??


BS and the Kids said...

You are my favorite. Jewelry really can make an outfit and I know exactly what you are talking about, the black dress with the cute red shoes and necklace. I even sold the stuff for crying out loud, and own very few pieces. It does take time to put on, and it isn't all that comfortable. I am getting better on the "purse" thing though. But, on a different note, let me ask you this: Did your mom use a purse or wear much jewelry?? Mine didn't, so I guess I never saw it as a priority. Most who do wear it I would think had mothers that loved to assesorize.

Lover of Sweets said...

Wow! So I didn't even know that they sold scrunchies anymore! I did used to love them because nothing works as well as a scrunchie when you want to pull your hair up into a sexy bun.
I have to admit that I threw out a bunch of perfectly good ones about a year ago. I stopped using them because I noticed that no one was using them anymore.

Oh and I've never actually seen the bumper sticker you spoke of but I laughed out loud...yes, LOL!!!

The thing that amuses me most about this post (i love to rhyme) is that you were NOT lazy in writing about what you're lazy about. It was quite randomy (although enjoyable), but seriously, if you were to add up how many seconds it took you to post this and then used those seconds in about 10 second increments...well, just THINK of all the earrings you could have put on or bent down to tie a pair of shoes (but not now of course). I'm just sayin'...

Speaking of handbags...in my opinion; which isn't saying much...I believe that purses, clutches, satchels, totes, hobos, pouches, swaggers, bowlers, etc...are ALL considered handbags.

And, finally...CONTACTS not contacs...maybe because they are actually making "contact" with your eyeball.

Perla said...

funny stuff, sister. a lot of good, wholesome, entertaining rambling with a lot of good laughs.

there is only one place for people to go in a handbasket, as far as i know, and that place is h-e-l-l

i like jewelry and purses but also am often too lazy to do them. purses are handbags. yes.

i love you

Mugsy said...

All I know is..... what the? Its obvious the jewelry bit. Its not all to comfortable. And lets face it. Your plenty cool for handbags you just want to not bother with them since the hospital gave you several thousand black diapers bags. But if we lived closer I would be forcing you to start using big cute hand bags because they are the key to everything in life.... ahhh now I am sounding like you. Go to bed or call me or something.

Nancy said...

Priscilla, Yes, that is exactly the problem!! Think of the hundreds of earrings I could put in my ears in the time it takes me to do other ridiculous things! And thank you -- Contacts -- contact with your eye! Of course! Why didn't I see that before (no pun intended).

Megan, I actually thought of you as I was typing this and thought how you always manage to have cool bags about you.

Karen said...

Oh, Nancy....you make me laugh.
I am so a scrunchie woman. I pull all my hair on top of my head at night, because I can't stand for it to touch my neck or face while I sleep. My husband calls me his little troll doll when I do this.

Tia Juana said...

When I saw this I just wanted to laugh. I can't believe that I didn't comment - must have been hurrying about some other such place.

Anyway, when I read it I knew you would appreciate to know that Lois refused to wear jewelry with her homecoming dress. She ddoes not have her ear pierced and she is not a girly thing when it comes to jewelry. Doesn't EVER wear it. EVER! I sent her to the valley to get jewelry and she and her friend went to the $2 jewelry store and came home with this plastic black stuff and then when I was posting her pictures on my blog I said "hey you didn't wear your jewelry" and all she could say was "nope" but I didn't care becuase it was awful plastic black stuff anyway!

Oh, and she wouldn't let me get out the china for homecoming either. She said dinner had to be on the every day dishes or paper BUT NOT CHINA!

Truth is, I think she is just too lazy to put on earrings or set out the china.

Liz said...

Some girls around here seem to have a necklace that goes with every outfit and earrings to match. I tried the necklace thing for a while, and I can't do it either. Once in while is fine, and actually Jay gave me one for my b-day that I am excited about. But, I have to say a good pair of earrings always make me feel like I at least tried to look cute so I always put those on without fail. I'm with you one the handbag thing. I just don't seem cool enough to be able to know what to buy or even if it counts as cute if it does not cost at least $500.00. Purses from Target will have to do for now.

Marilyn said...

It does seem a little funny to leave comments after…YEARS after…this conversation. Like someone who is still talking about…what is a hopelessly out-of-date thing? Scrunchies are probably back IN by now…talking about how cool car phones are after cell phones have come out. Or something. But, I can't help myself. Because I have never gotten over this in all these years, even when not pregnant. Jewelry and real shoes are just too much trouble!! And I get so resentful that I even have to wear an undershirt with so many shirts that just don't fit right otherwise! But why? Why can't I just put one thing on in the morning instead of ten?? It doesn't seem fair. The other thing this reminded me of is that conference talk about the boy who wouldn't unroll his sleeping bag because he didn't want to have to pack it up again. So he suffered cold all night instead. That boy is me. And that it why I don't get out Halloween decorations even though I aspire to.

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