Letters to Abe

I won't copy and paste all my letters here as some might not be things I want to share, but it occurs to me that updating Abe on the goings on around here might become more my journal and method of writing than anything else for the next two years. So I will likely put a fair amount of my letters on my blog. (Or maybe I won't. What do I know? I'm only two days into this!)

Still, coming home from that painful drop off at the MTC (Missionary Training Center), knowing we could sit right down and send a message to him (even if we haven't been able to yet here from him in return) was comforting somehow.

First Letter:

Well, it’s 3:49 pm on day one. We dropped you off less than three hours ago and we are all home now.

We wonder and keep trying to imagine what on earth you are doing and what exactly happened after you walked away from our van! 

You looked confident and happy and ready as you left us — following that Elder who probably only said his own goodbyes a few weeks ago but who we assumed was a seasoned veteran who now knew everything. It might have helped any sadness that you might have been prone to that you had to spend your last minutes encouraging and trying to cheer up your little siblings. You did a good job at that. Still, all the kids were crying as we drove away. Jesse and Anders most of all. Both of them kept sadly commiserating that they would NEVER be happy again for even a minute until you came home. Two years of zero joy. Haha. Even Hans, eager not to be left out, wailed, “Im so sad!”. A thoughtful friend of mine (who lives not too far from Provo) sent us a gift card to a fancy ice cream place not far from the MTC — telling us we could drown our sorrows (after leaving you) in ice cream. Anders sobbed as he licked his ice cream for awhile, but eventually the ice cream did seem to restore their will to live and was a good distraction.

Now we are home. Jesse immediately discovered your awesome little treasure hunt to the army guys and was thrilled. He pinned the letter on his cork board and I’m sure it will still be there when you get home. At this second, they have carried down all your stuff from the bathroom cabinet and are taking turns choosing things. Hans keeps folding up that blue “roomarang” thing (that he’s calling a “fan”) and then saying, “blow on it” and then letting it unfold like he’s doing a little magic trick. It’s kind of cute. All of that was some nice brothering right there. I’m excited for them to get to read your emails and see your pics and hear your stories and  just feel like they are connected to this wild adventure. It will make them feel important somehow. And I think having a brother on a mission will be a cool thing for THEM to experience. 

The days leading up to you leaving were hard for me (as I kept thinking of every moment with you as a “last”). And driving into the MTC grounds made me cry. I kept wishing I could go back and hug you for just a few more seconds after you left, but between comforting kids and it finally just BEING here, I felt better than I thought. Then we got home and I had a small cry again. BUT! I do feel just a sense of excitement in me ever since your setting apart blessing last night. Like my spirit already knows some of what is ahead for you somehow — and is excited about everything it will mean for you and for others. Things that I probably won’t fully know in this life. 

I don’t know if this is true. Certainly you will have some homesickness. And maybe it will be bad. But I just had this little hopeful feeling as we were driving to the MTC that maybe you would be allowed to feel it not too terribly . . . so that you could uplift and encourage and cheer up others who are down. I hope that might be true! But if not . . . well . . . I’m afraid I told the Lord that I wanted you to experience every single thing you need to that will seal you his disciple and build you a more impenetrable fortress. And I know that means He won’t spare you some pretty rough stuff. But! I have prayed and prayed that no matter what comes, you will always feel hope and comfort as you wade through it. 

I love you so so much, Abe. I plan on fasting for any single thing you need help with, so let me know if there are any specific requests. 

Here are pics of the kids going through your stuff. :)

Love,

Mom