Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Mike Away = Bad Things Happening

It seems that all bad things happen when Mike is not here. Hamsters die and need burying. Dogs attack and leave half dead chickens. Goats that are found wandering the road get tied to our mailbox (yes, that one really happened). Horses escape pastures and run off down skinny busy roads. Dogs dig out of yards and right into very proper neighbor's yards where their very proper small dogs reside.

Sigh. I suppose it should come as no surprise that most bad things happen when Mike is not here. Given that the greater portion of time finds him away from home, I guess, statistically, most bad things would fall during those absences.

Mike is out of town this week.

Last night I was up 'til about 12:30 organizing old photos. At around 3:00am I woke to some loud sound outside our window and then a whole lot of clucking and flapping and over all crazy terrified chicken sounds. I lay there frozen – trying to process what might be happening. Then I heard Thor coming over -- barking insanely and rushing from outside our window back towards the back yard. I decided he was probably chasing a cat or raccoon that had come snooping around our chickens. I was still a little terrified though . . . because, maybe it was a raccoon . . . or, you know, also it was maybe a murderer who wanted to rile up the chickens before coming to kill us all.

Still, Thor's barking was far too loud to go unnoticed by sleeping neighbors, so I went to the patio door and called out to get him quiet. I still was afraid to go out, so I went and tried to look out our bathroom window to see what was going on with the chickens. Of course, I'm pretty much blind with out my contacts and it was very dark. I could sort of make out the shape of something that appeared to be climbing around on the chain link of our dog run (where the chickens now make their home). There is wire over the top to keep them in, but I wasn't positive that this critter hadn't somehow gotten in as well (raccoons are smart little fellas, you know), so I figured I better go out. So, I got a flashlight and headed out back. As I walked around the side of the house I felt very much like the foolish girl from a horror movie who says, “I think I hear a sound in the bushes. I better go out all alone in my frail little nighty (although I was actually wearing cut off sweats and a t-shirt) to see what it is.” Luckily, whatever it was was gone. I shined the flashlight around to make sure there were six live chickens and then scampered nervously back to bed.

It only occurred to me later that Thor was over barking on our patio while the raccoon (or whatever it was) was still climbing on the fencing . . . which leads me to believe he was barking in terror rather than in brave protector mode, and had been running away rather than chasing away.

I tried to go back to sleep, but with no Mike here I kept thinking again how that raccoon probably meant more murderers lurking about. Minds think very differently when it is late and dark and they are alone, I've discovered. When I did finally fall asleep it was only to bizarre dreams of a dog coming into our yard that looked just like Thor and Mike aiming a gun at it and then me noticing that its paws looked weird and then realizing it was because it wasn't a dog that looked like Thor, but several people crammed into a dog costume. And, oh no, Mike was about to shoot them . . . even though I am not sure why a dog that looked like Thor would need to be shot.

Even that disturbing sleep didn't last long. At 5:00 am Goldie woke up with a bloody nose that could not be stopped for about 45 minutes – which was, of course, another bad thing happening with Mike away.

Oh well. What's to be done? Let's just look at these happy pictures instead.

Wait, that's not happy. That's very sad.
Oops. Still very very sad.
Now we're talkin.' Happy to be throwing the towel I carefully placed over his lap to catch all his crumbs and spills.
Oh, and happy to be with his two favorite items in the world -- monkey and a half deflated rubber ball that if anyone else ever even touches sends him into hysterics of sobbing. Now that is MUCH better. Even Penny is happy now.
And you better believe that's Mike teaching his kids nunchuck skills. Practicing violin with Abe. Let's hear it for TV!
Abe and his pal Zach teaching Jesse to play Connect Four. Zach is the youngest in his family, and he thinks Jesse is one of the coolest things at Abe's house. P.S. For those of you who don't use google reader and just come straight to my blog, there is actually another new post just below my Mister Steamy post. I'd typed it a few weeks ago but never published it because I kept meaning to add some pictures to it -- which I finally did tonight.


jocelyn said...

i am such a nervous nelly too when brady is out of town (which is never). i don't know how you do it all the time!

Karen said...

I for TV. Seriously Nancy, if you ever need anything, anytime of day, call me. Craig or I would be happy to come to your rescue, no matter how minor or major. I also promise to not come over wearing a dog costume. :) Oh...and I totally laughed about weapons and violins in the same post.

marzee said...

Is that how you spell nunchucks? I always thought it was numchucks? But the google speller says both are wrong. I just don't know what to think about that. I love how your pictures demonstrate how versatile Mike is - going from violin, to nunchucks, to TV, to shooting people in a Trojan dog. What a man! ;)
Additionally, oh darn it - I forgot. I'll just close by saying I Love you (because we know that's what you were waiting to hear)!

Nancy said...

I know, I know. Mike is a versatile versatile man. He could probably even use the violin AS a weapon (maybe even while playing it).

Marz, I also was uncertain about num verses nun on the chuck, but Mike set me straight when he and the kids first bought the weapons.

Karen, thank you. If your services apply to helping when animals go astray, I very well may end up calling you!!

Ogden High said...

It is so weird we live in a parallel universe! Dave is gone this week too. But it has been rather peaceful and nice. There have been no ferral cats breaking into our house and petting Dave's cheek at 2:00 am and such.

I did have some boys playing some night game in my yard that I had to tell to be quiet because they were tromping through my bushes under the windows of my sleeping children and they were swearing...ew was I ever mad but not too mad because I did not want to get egged or something so instead I asked if they were in trouble and if they needed a ride. I'm old.

~Paige~ said...

That first picture is the sadest face I have ever seen! Your camera takes great pictures, love it! Hope you guys are doing great!

Krista said...

The mind is a tricky thing when husbands are away. I always had the worst thoughts when Jared went out of town and my kids were little.

jami v. said...

wouldn't you know that i'm a more nervous nelly than you, and here i sit at 12:30 in the midnight hour, reading about your dog barking/murderer/chicken frenzy, and i'm getting all freaked out! i may have to sleep with the light on ... or wake jason up so he can check the house for disturbed chickens/racoons/barking dogs. ah. breathing, breathing ....

yes, thank you for the "happier" pictures that really did get happier. your kids are so adorable ... and seriously, mike's teaching nunchuck skills? hilarious. :) such is the fun at your house! jas just teaches my boys how to dig holes and shovel dirt.

Perla said...

i am so glad that was just a dream about mike shooting all the people in the dog costume. whew!!!

Sarah said...

For a second you had me thinking ALL of these things happened at the same time! I know a husband gone is no fun. Here I am up late reading blogs because mine is gone! Oh the fun.

I had fun catching up on all your cute pictures. We really need to find a time to get together! We're going to have to try round 2 on the dates.

I'll be in touch!

Nancy said...

This is me, Penny I am Nancy's daughter. I simply have memories of that story mom! I remember the crying and the laughing oh what memories!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...