Cleaning Alone, Celestial Rearing, Track Meet Busts, and "As the Good Shall Grow"

Saturday evening Mike took all of the kids (even the tiny, unpredictable one) to play in his parents' backyard while he worked on some garden boxes. I stayed behind to get the house cleaned up for the night -- which should be a punishment akin to being sent to bed without your supper it seems (supper? does anyone use that word anymore?). But it felt ... a delight; like grocery shopping by yourself; and I wonder what teenage me would have thought had she known her future definitions of indulgent luxury.

A flyer, advertising our stake's upcoming women's conference, was recently left taped to my front door. I perused it quickly and noticed that one of the speakers had been given the topic of "Raising Celestial Teens in a Telestial World". 

I shuddered at the thought. 

Wait. That sounded funny. I didn't shudder at the thought of raising Celestial teens in a Telestial world (though yes, that too sometimes! trembling and shuddering! ha!). But what I meant to say was that I shuddered at the thought of being given such a speaking assignment! 

I thought of the many faithful and powerful women I know -- utterly courageous examples who are doing every good thing ... while seeing, as of yet, very little positive Celestial result in their parenting. These women I love are pillars to me. And I know their efforts are not wasted. Their persevering with those they love through the messy mortal living set before them will work in the souls of their children. And will be answered with unthinkably glorious eventual joys. I am sure of this. And it gives me hope when I consider what the road ahead in my own parenting might entail. But I imagined myself up there -- glibly giving a Celestial to-do list to these women who have battled so long in the trenches for their hope and faith and wisdom and, well, it made me very glad I was not the one speaking on such a complex topic!

But! I do catch beautiful/starkly contrasted glimpses of that ideal every now and then. 

Last Wednesday Goldie, Penny, Jesse and I were awake by 5:00 a.m. It was wholly dark (other than the light from our kitchen) and the wind was battering the house and shaking the windows. But there was a hushed excitement in the air as I quietly French braided the girls' hair and gave Jesse his eye drops. They were heading to the temple for the first time in over a year.

My mom had given us a little envelope full of names of our Norwegian ancestors -- including 16 men for Jesse. Knowing the temple usually only allows five to be done at a time (and knowing appointments were booked back to back), I opened the envelope -- intending to remove the top five cards of men to send with Jesse so he wouldn't misplace the rest. But then I felt a distinct anticipation that seemed to exclaim, "Oh no! Don't do that! What if? What if we can all get our work done? We've waited so long! Send us all!" And so I did.

It was, of course, completely dark when they left. And that wind I mentioned was tearing about so wildly that I thought school might get cancelled, and I worried a little over Goldie driving and over possible power outages shutting the temple down.

So I lingered in the doorway as the three of them climbed into our old white truck, turned on the engine and the headlights, and pulled away from our house. The dark and the wind seemed extra ... I don't know ... fierce and lonely and consuming -- like all the darkness and turbulence of the world whipping about outside my home. 

But around that little truck? There seemed to be a circle of protection; of light and power that allowed my three, small kids to faithfully carve their way forward, through the darkness, and on to accomplishing God's purposes despite the wind. My chest rose suddenly and tears spilled down my cheeks as they drove off. Because there it was -- Celestial in a Telestial world. 

(And I should add, that Jesse was able to be baptized for all 16 men! And the girls for the 16 they had between them! Such happiness! I have the feeling that all of them were eager to make that covenant with God and that they were privileged to be sent that morning on my kids' first return trip to the temple.)

Anyway, moving on!

We felt a little badly when we arrived at Penny's track meet last Friday ... after her one and only race. But we felt less bad (or equally bad? or more bad? it's hard to say) when we discovered Penny missed her only race as well! Haha. Poor girl. It was the first event. And the bus got them there late. But these kids still had a good time watching the other runners and goofing off on the bleachers for a bit.

I love how the Spirit can use the words in The Book of Mormon to give us very personal guidance on specific issues -- even though all of those specific issues and circumstances could never all be directly touched on in the book. It's miraculous really. 

The other day I was feeling discouraged about an issue with my parenting and not knowing how exactly to handle things. I happened to be reading the Allegory of the Olive Tree in Jacob 5. In verse 66 I read "... ye shall clear away the bad as the good shall grow, ... until the good shall overcome the bad". I read over it and continued on without much thought. But when I got to verse 72 where it talks about the Lord of the vineyard laboring with his servants, I somehow felt drawn back to 66. "[C]lear away the bad as the good shall grow." My mind glazed and my focus was short, so on I went again. But then, I don't know. There was this push. "Go back!" And the third time, I suddenly heard the Lord's message to me regarding the thing I was struggling with in my parenting. 

I often feel so anxious to just remove all the bad -- every faulty behavior, every ingratitude, etc. in my children -- that it becomes my focus. Here I felt the Lord say to me, "Nurture the good! I will help clear away the bad as the good grows."

I don't know that I know exactly how to nurture the good. And I'm sure, in my mortal attempts to learn, I will often revert to frustration and simply trying to shout out the bad. But this. It was something. A message to me on a very specific issue found in an unlikely chapter in this sacred book. 

And with that, we will wrap this post up! (The last two pictures below were taken by Penny as we drove home from her meet. Cute.)