Tuesday, October 20, 2015

A Scar and Bear Lake

It's now been nearly ten weeks since the rather unconventional arrival of Mette into this world – long enough for the bigness of her actual birth to have found a little resting spot comfortably somewhere in my mind where it mostly sleeps rather than plays on repeat as it did at first.

Photo Oct 08, 10 10 35 AMPhoto Oct 12, 4 14 24 PM

Still, every now and then I find myself looking at the thin, long, reddish scar on my lower abdomen and pausing. It doesn't bother me. It's not unsightly. And it's not wrapped up in regrets. But it's there. Something that wasn’t for 38 years before. And, when I do find myself looking in the mirror, tilting my head, and considering its presence, I mostly think, rather simply, how rarely I get such a visual reminder of . . . an experience; and, strangely, I feel an inexplicable sort of gratitude to that long mark, for being something I can clearly see. “Remember that day. Remember the things you wondered. Remember the unexpectedness. Remember what followed.” And, for a moment anyway – in feelings more than words – that scar somehow stretches beyond its length on my abdomen into . . . something bigger. Something like: You are here. You are living the mortal journey you longed for clear back when you shouted together with all those other morning stars. You are having experiences. So many. They are all leaving their marks. And those marks are good for you. They are becoming part of you. Eternally.

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We've had a rather Indian summer.We spent perhaps the last warm bits of it at our cabin this last weekend (where we haven't been, together as a family anyway, since July – Mette’s arrival and other obligations having thrown us off our usual regular visits for a bit).

We went on a hike one day. There was enough complaining at one point that Mike called us all a bunch of Laman and Lemuels. Still, we enjoyed ourselves. And we enjoyed Abe’s occasional safety tips:

“If you see a squirrel, play dead. They only kill for the thrill.” And, upon the passing of several ATVs nearby, “Just remember. 4-wheelers can’t climb trees.”

And, in the end, I took some of the wee-est complainers home while the four oldest hiked another three plus miles with Mike.

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I like the cabin most of all because I feel somewhat free of my usual to-do lists so I’m more likely to do things like . . . play cards with my kids.

Also, I wonder why I ever think that cold, darkness, or full clothing might ever make my kids consider walking nicely along the lake shore rather than soaking themselves in it.

Lastly, we often end up needing some small item or other from the little Ace Hardware store in town while we are there. They give out these little free paper cones full of popcorn. Mike will never allow everyone to get a sleeve full of popcorn. I guess there are so many of us that he feels it would be taking advantage of their benevolence? I always get a chuckle out of everyone grumbling over who is eating too much and who isn’t getting enough from the one or two free cones Mike allows us. I don’t know why the whole thing makes me laugh so much.

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13 comments:

Kara said...

You sound so mature about it all. I'd be somethings else...

Ashley said...

I love you when you remind me of your blog. So I can visit it and be reminded of your wonderfulness.

Ashley said...

Side benefit of visiting your blog-- I was just reminded that I am not a robot. And I was thanked for proving it.

Sara said...

Is Abe in rock climbing gear? Next time I'm around we should go! (When the weather is nice or indoors)

Sara said...

Is Abe in rock climbing gear? Next time I'm around we should go! (When the weather is nice or indoors)

Trisha said...

I am laughing so hard at “If you see a squirrel, play dead. They only kill for the thrill.” I am telling all my nephews that on the next campout. :)

I look at my scar sometimes too and think- it's amazing that doctors can do this now with little risk involved, we get this beautiful baby here safely, then our body heals itself. Our Heavenly Father sure did a great job in creating our bodies so the skin can "re-seal" itself.

Shannon said...

I loved what you said about your scar. To look at that from an eternal perspective is so cool. It makes trials cool like, "yes! This is it! This is what I've been waiting for! I got this."

Nancy said...

Oh Kara, i'm the "something else" plenty of times too!

Nancy said...

My favorite thing are: 1. You, Ashley. And 2. Being reminded I'm not a robot.

Nancy said...

Sar! Yes! I didn't know you were a rock climbing gal yourself! And and Goldie have both gotten into it. A cousin climbing adventure ought to happen for sure next time you're home!

Nancy said...

Trisha -- Abe will feel super cool when I tell him his tips will be passed along ;)

And yes, I agree with all your thoughts.

Nancy said...

Whew. Yes. It is what we've been waiting for. But sheeeeeesh! It's crazier than we thought it would be. (I mean - probably. I don't know what we thought.)

Marilyn said...

This reminds me of how Christ chose to keep his scars, as reminders to us and to him of his love. I love the idea that all our experiences are leaving their marks on us, whether visible or not. And that's what we signed up for!

That picture of you and your Mike, each with your own baby, is perfect. How fun to be out hiking together, even with a bunch of Lamans and Lemuels along. Unless YOU were the Laman or the Lemuel…!! :)

And I laughed and laughed at mike's stinginess with Ace Hardware's popcorn. How sober and civic-minded of him, to look out for the welfare of all. Sam is the same! He doesn't ever want the kids to get free things, like pens at the health fair or smarties or whatever, or if they do, he won't let them ALL get some. I guess our husbands are just aware of how much havoc our little locusts could wreak, left unchecked. Have you read "Millions of Cats"? I feel like that. "Each cat took one mouthful of grass, and the whole hillside was bare."

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