I don’t know that I can fairly answer how things are going and how I am doing with new little Mette now in the mix of our lives. I’ve spent two full weeks in a time out of sorts. Mike has been home – dutifully handling all of the necessary business of living (dishes, laundry, dinner, etc.) and I’ve just . . . basked in Mette and her newborn-ness.
I feel like I’ve just been sitting on the shore, enjoying the sun, and maybe dipping my toes in the water a bit. In another week or two, after I’ve bravely dived in, I’ll be in better position to tell you if I’m staying afloat, if the waves are too wild, or if the water is too cold and I’m gasping for air.
What I can say for now is simply that I truly have been “basking in Mette’s newborn-ness”. I’ve felt so fine and so . . . normal; and that isn’t always the case for me with my newborns. I always love them. I always adore them. I always marvel at their minute and utter perfectness. But, while I’ve never had a colicky baby, I’ve definitely had some who simply required more work to be kept happy. They’d fall asleep nursing, but wake the minute I stopped, or set them down, or passed them to another set of arms. And then they’d fuss and want to eat again. And I often felt that I spent my entire first weeks trying to nurse them to sleep soundly enough to set them down and have five minutes to get something done. Add to that the anxiety, panic, and fear that usually accompanies “life needing fully refigured again” for me; and I’ve often found my newborns to overwhelm me (bless their wee little hearts).
But this little Mette Mary? She’s so mild. So happy to just slump peacefully into the arms of anyone holding her. So content to just drift to sleep if her belly is full. So calm, . . . that I can’t help but feel calm having her here!
Unlike my last few, she doesn’t seem to feel any urgency over being swaddled. Poor Summer and Anders wore nothing but onesies their first several months. There was no point in any little jammies or outfits being on them when they had to be bound fast almost constantly to stay happy. Mette seems to find her limbs no real cause for panic or concern. They’re unfamiliar, certainly, and might startle her once in awhile, but mostly she’s rather pleased to have them about.
Another dear little thing about her is that she almost never opened her eyes during her first week of life. I felt like I had a new little puppy. “Her eyes haven’t opened yet. Maybe in a week or two.” Even if she was awake – arms batting about, head tossing and looking for something to eat – her eyes would almost always stay firmly shut. We joked that hearing was enough to be forced to take in for the first little while around here. Sometimes we’d look at her and inform her, “Mette, you know, people actually open their eyes here on earth. It’s just one of those things we do.” But, during her second week she’s braved “looking”.
She and Summer have yet to come to terms with one another. Little, tiny stinkers. Summer will have very little to do with either Mette or me. Mike is her new best friend. I have a permanent image in my mind of Mike walking about the house – doing this and that – with Summer in his arms, her little hand over his shoulder (firmly clutching a bit of his shirt). I’m not sure how that little angel will fair when Mike leaves her and goes back to work!
But it doesn’t worry me much. Very soon, I’m sure, Summer won’t remember a life without her closely-spaced little sibling and playmate.
I’ve often wondered about prayer – and it’s ability to claim blessings for us that the Lord is willing to give. I’ve often wondered why prayer is necessary to claim some blessings (when others just seem to come). I don’t know the answer to that, but I have felt very strongly that my current state of calm and peace is a direct result of prayers offered for me by loved ones. When I was talking on the phone with one of my sisters (during my third night in the hospital), she mentioned how she felt prompted to pray for peace and quick healing and adjustment for me; and, I can’t explain it, but as she said that, I suddenly felt such light and hope surround me in my quiet little hospital room. I almost seemed to hear the spirit whisper to me, “I’ve prompted people to ask that for you because it’s a blessing Heavenly Father is willing to give you.”
So, to those of you out there who have offered similar prayers for me – you have my weepy-with-joy gratitude! Truly. The Lord heard you. And then he blessed me. It’s almost unbelievable. Thank you so so much.