“Mom?” Jesse asked, as he wandered into the kitchen. “When I grow up and I’m a dad, can I build a house?”
“Sure,” I replied. “Maybe you could build one for you and your family to live in.”
“Wait,” Jesse said. “What?”
“Well . . . you know . . . like if you marry someone and have kids. Maybe you could build a house for you guys to live in. . . .” Sensing continued uncertainty, I added, “And I’d come visit you all the time.”
“Ummm.” (Hesitation.) “But I’d still want to come to this house a lot.”
“Of course! Whenever you wanted. It might just be fun to build one for your family too.”
“OK,” Jesse agreed. And then: “Should I build it in our front yard or our back yard?”
Someday my kids will be ready to explore every inch of their worlds. They will head out on adventures. They will pursue dreams. They will find people and even give birth to people who they will anchor themselves to as securely as they were ever anchored to me. They will stretch, and push, and go far beyond the limits of their childhood lives. . . And they will be ready to head much much further from me than . . . our back yard. (Or even our front yard.)
And, as I watch them do it, I’ll cheer. I’ll be so grateful they are finding their way. I’ll be happy, and proud, and excited, and amazed! And also . . . maybe . . . every now and then, and just for a second, I might feel the tiniest bit . . . lonesome. Lonesome for the little folks who, once upon a time, couldn’t imagine themselves further than a back yard away from me.
8 comments:
Every post you ever wrote is the best post I've ever read.
When my oldest left for college last fall I felt like things would never be the same again. And now my 2nd has been accepted to BYU-I as well. But then she came home and all was well. It was so fun to talk about all her adventures and crazy times and new experiences. Then it was time to leave again. She even cried when it was time to go back because it would be 4 whole months before she would see us again. Life is such a juxtaposition of wanting things to stay the same and yet change!
Why does everything you write make me teary?
Love this.
Geez, Shan. Nice.
Montserrat, I think I am already learning on a tiny scale what you mean. With my babies I am always excited for the new things they are learning . . . And simultaneously wanting to cry that they are changing.
Linn . . . maybe, soon, I will write some hilarious things! . . . Of course that opens up the possibility of crying from laughing . . . so we might still be where we are ;)
What is happening in the last picture?
Marns, Mike had been out of town all week long and was just getting home. You can see their welcome home signs on the door if you look closely.
They're all growing up fast, aren't they? Something we are proud of and a little nostalgic about. Magic :) I'm always in awe with your pictures, by the way, so beautiful!
Post a Comment