Stepping More Fully Into all of the New

I remember the day I told our kids that our dog Tess—with arthritis and blindness setting in—would need to be put to sleep. Abe was about as torn up as I’ve ever seen him. And the other kids were all in various stages of rejection of the idea (ranging from loud tears, to whimpering, to silent withdrawal). Everywhere I turned there was a child needing consoled in a way unique to their temperament. It felt as though I was trying to hold a waterfall of everyone’s emotions in my arms without so much as a bucket to help hold it.

I’ve felt a little of that same sensation off and on these last few months. Just … so many kids affected by this move and all the accompanying change and upheaval. And affected in different ways. And responding to that in different ways. I don't think they know I hold it all with them, and I don't know even if I should hold it—surely that's what Christ is for. I know that, and I hope my urging that they turn to Him in every aspect of this for the strength and wisdom they need is being heard. Even so, it's in our baptism covenant, and I couldn't escape it with these kids I love even if it wasn't. I'm desperately trying to bear their burdens with them in hopes that I can make them light. (And I alternate between being completely overwhelmed by that job, and overwhelmingly grateful that I am here and that I get to provide a place of comfort as they live life's troubles.)

And, overall, things have been going about as well as one could hope for a time of so much change. Things are settling in. Things are being tolerated. Things that were unnecessarily clung to are being let go. And some few things are even going better than one would hope!

The kids all started school last week. With further away schools and bus rides to get there, it's longer days, but the elementary kids seem to like their teachers and feel hopeful about small, developing friendships. The high school kids aren't coming home raving about how great it is, and I don't know how long before they will make meaningful connections here, but they seem to be tolerating and accepting the change better than they might have guessed back when it was all just a looming and terrifying unknown. And, while I know the phrase, "You can do hard things," gets a bit overused, it is, in fact, quite miraculous to look back with them—at the dread they felt over leaving comfortable and known, and over stepping into so many new situations, and to see that they have stepped into them, they've taken the plunge, they've done the scary parts of: being dropped off at a youth activity knowing no one, finding their way around big new schools, and adjusting to new jobs (Penny). Those things are no longer just black voids they can't see into; they have been faced! They've walked to the edge of the high dive, jumped, and discovered that they can actually swim, and that, as we talked about all last week as they prepared for school, "the tender mercies of the Lord" are over them as they experience all this growth. And there's some satisfaction, if not yet for them, for me, in seeing them make their way through a time that I can clearly see is shaping their character and confidence (in themselves, in our family, and in their Heavenly Father).

Penny--11th grade.

Jesse--9th grade. (Back in Pleasant View that would have been junior high still, but here he is already up at the high school with Penny.)

Anders--6th grade.

Summer--4th grade.

Mette--3rd grade.

Hans--1st grade (and a bonus picture of how he looked after he learned Mette had been behind the door making bunny ears on him through the glass during one of his pictures).

How could she?

AND, on this same exact day, we got texted this photo of Goldie having arrived in Arkansas! (And that is all we know! We are still waiting anxiously for her p-day to know more!)