Nelly

As I approach 50, I increasingly find myself feeling a bit blue about the endings I've begun to experience and that I see on the horizon. (The other day I asked Mike if we'd even still be here to see the trees we've planted at the farm reach full maturity! Endings were truly never a thing that occurred to me at all in my 20s and 30s when all of life seemed to be about forming a family, and creating traditions, and embarking on the adventures of adult life).

But there's been a definite shift in the last five or so years as the number of kids living in our home has begun decreasing rather than increasing (as it did for nearly two decades) and things that I used to take for granted (like running) are becoming a battle to keep even minimally a part of the road ahead. (You can't imagine--well, ok, maybe you can--how I looked forward to the long runs I would finally be able to easily take once I finally had all my kids in school. It's a hard pill to swallow that, despite a hopeful surgery, it appears that my knees might never truly allow that looked-forward to day.)

On the other hand (as Tevye would say), I often feel so much wonder and gratitude over just how extra long certain stages of my life have been extended! It seems unthinkable--far far too fleeting--to imagine my years of little kids eager to decorate for holidays: to go pick pumpkins, watch the traditional holiday specials, and create Christmas lists ... having ended as Abe, Daisy and Goldie left home. I feel so lucky to still get to be in that stage!

And here's another one I thought about the other day when Mike pulled up with our new horse Nelly! (Holly is a pony and will never be huge, but Nelly will be a full-sized horse perfectly capable of holding ... larger riders.)

(She's only six months, so we won't be riding her for a few years yet, but hopefully, eventually, both she and Holly will be perfect for riding around on. In the mean time ... isn't her coloring fun? I love the half black, half white of her mane and tail.)

From the time Abe was a toddler to now our kids have all experienced the excitement of new animals--whether it's been dogs, horses (we had horses back when Abe and Daisy were small), baby chicks, cats, hamsters, goats, cows, or just ... a "Spring Break" piglet or lamb. 

And as all the kids ran out excitedly to see the trailer opened and Nelly brought out, I thought how lucky I am to, nearly 26 years into parenting, still be experiencing little kids experiencing this.

Update on having a grandbaby

Not much new to report on there just suddenly being a grandbaby/nephew (!) around here now. It is a little strange to think that a few short weeks ago there was no baby being passed around at every Sunday dinner--and now there is. But, perhaps because babies have been both so recently and for so many years a part of the rhythm of our lives, nothing feels drastically strange about a little baby being in the mix again, and Goldie herself has taken to mothering without much trouble at all. (She was always the one who perhaps most loved endlessly sitting and holding her baby siblings). She's sleep deprived for certain but doesn't seem overly overwhelmed; mostly just happy. 

I highly recommend a smooth transition (and with very little gap) between having your own babies ... and having grandbabies placed in your arms. 

And if anyone else highly recommends such a course, it would be Isaac's aunts and uncles--as Goldie truly gets pretty nearly zero time holding her baby when he is here. (It's fun to see how long the kids can gather around simply watching a sleeping baby.)

Although I will admit that I often find myself somewhat confused about where I fit these days. I'll be talking one moment with a group of older women about the details of wedding planning and how many grandkids we have. And the next, I'll be chatting with mom's who can't even imagine teenagers (much less adult children!) about the new elementary school bus routes and who the best second-grade teachers are. I feel simultaneously linked and ... completely different from each of these groups of people (as it really just isn't that common for women to be raising young children while welcoming grandchildren these days). I'm left a bit uncertain of where I fit. Perhaps nowhere? Or, to spin it more positively, perhaps I fit ... everywhere? :)

Labor Day Weekend 2026

After neglecting the cabin and Bear Lake in general nearly all summer (I blame the goats and Pig), not only did the kids get to go for a day at the beach with Abe, Kenya and Daisy in late August; but we took them all again just a week or so later for the long Labor Day weekend.

Because Mike loves me, he made sure, when he stopped to get groceries for us on his way up, that I didn't have to go a full weekend without the almonds that the kids all claim I have a legitimate addiction to. I'm sure I can stop at any time. ...

You can always tell if a photo was taken on a Sunday evening by the presence of white undershirts on several of the boys. (A sure sign that they were wearing a dress shirt earlier that day and discarded it.)

We've taken so many walks around the dirt-road loop by our cabin. 

We tried a new hike at Mike's suggestion. Afterwards he told me he'd likely have to wait for me to post about it on my blog to know what I really thought about it. 

Well. There were a lot of torn-up trail parts that were nearly impossible to push the jog stroller through -- much less walk past, but, luckily for Mike, it's been long enough already that I only vaguely recall those tricky parts and otherwise mostly remember that the weather was lovely and it was pretty. 

We stopped at Utah State's creamery on our way home.

The End