Starling (and her clothes?)

Starling's hair is pretty much always messy because ... at nearly all times it is being rubbed and tangled back and forth by a blanket draped over her head. (And it doesn't help that one of the things she has somehow claimed as a special blanket is an odd little pink sleeping bag of sorts with velcro here and there on it!)

Also, there is almost nothing she will willingly wear. This extends to dresses, shoes, pajamas, everyday clothes and ... hair accessories. You might be thinking something like: "Well, you are the parent, you just make her wear what you want." Or you may be imagining up a slight resistance that is easily overcome. But any attempted forcing of any of those things results in such thrashing hysteria (and could only be accomplished with such intense coercion and with such sobbing/clothes-tearing afterwards) that ... I mostly just sigh and let her wear her red princess pajama nightgown, her Dora nightgown, her butterfly pajamas or her pink pants and pink striped shirt. (Also I have never had a child this young have such strong color preferences. She primarily wants pink or yellow.) Anyway. It's fine. But I just ... well ... she is probably the last little girl I will ever dress. And what about the darling red dress I bought at Baby Gap when she was a newborn that I was holding onto just for when it would fit her at this age? What about the soft blue dress with stars and constellations on it? What about all the tiny sandals passed on from Summer and Mette? What about the darling sweater she could be wearing to church? Or the little navy pea-coat passed on from her sisters (the one that will soon outgrow all of my children forever)? What I ask you?

But never mind. She often comes up to me (all wrapped in blanket) and very gently and quietly (so quietly I have to lean in close) says, "Will you hold me?" And then snuggles into my shoulder. And today, when I was hugging Mike, she reached for me and said, "Can I have my mommy?" (As if to say, "Excuse me, dad, but if you are quite finished, I'd like a turn with mom now.") And also ... sometimes her hair looks like this after a nap:

I really just adore this little person so much. She brings me such enormous joy. And it is so fun to let her be the baby for so long! (I've always had to bump my children up into a stage of slightly more self sufficiency by this age due to the arrival of another baby, and I've enjoyed seeing her bask in that enviable spot of attention and adoration [from all of us] for so long.) 

(And look! Here she agreed to the unicorn shirt for a day! ...)

Happy New Year!

We went to the cabin over New Year's. There were storm warnings all surrounding the days we wanted to depart, so there was a little anxiety on my part (Mike couldn't come up with us initially, and I've had some harrowing snow-drives in Logan canyon), and we rushed to get off on Thursday before the official hour of storm warnings for Cache County and Garden City hit. (There were only about ten minutes of tense driving just over the pass, but the rest was fine, so it worked out well.)

It was exceptionally frigid over the weekend, but Abe took some of his siblings snowshoeing right after we arrived. (And our winter "arrivals" are no small thing in and of themselves! We can't park in the driveway of the cabin as it is always covered in thick, deep snow. So we have to park on the snow-covered road, haul all of our ... selves and babies and suitcases and groceries over the enormous snowdrift left by the snow plow, and then tromp down a trail to the cabin door -- which eventually gets packed enough to walk all right on, but has us all sinking to our knees initially. Then we have to get the cabin heat going and wait hours before it is fully warmed up. So snowshoeing right after that arrival was something several tried to balk at, but they couldn't resist Abe's demands for adventure for long. And off the oldest five bravely went. [Only Penny returning rather quickly due to all her snowshoe straps breaking.])

The next day the older kids took the younger ones sledding (each younger kid returning to me at some point in tears over cold, or snow in their face, or a crashed sled, or snow in their boots), then they unstuck the van for me so I could go to town for root beer float supplies, then they did lots of Calculus. (Haha, truly they did. Both Abe and Daisy had a Calc. 3 class beginning this upcoming semester at BYU, but they'd been out of Calculus since high school. So they had some enormous review they were going over together. And they roped Goldie in to help since she currently has Calculus. For hours I didn't understand a word they said. And when Mike joined us the next day and they were again doing Calculus he joked, "I almost don’t want to be by it while it’s happening. It feels like it will sour the mental atmosphere.") Then we played games, ate root beer floats, banged pots and pans and shouted "Happy New Year" (at 9 o'clock), put the younger kids to bed, played more games, and rung the midnight hour in over the phone with Mike. (And thanks to Penny who took all the game photos.)

On New Year's Day Mike finally was able to leave off working and join us. Everything feels SO MUCH happier and safer and so much more fun when he is with us. He rented a few extra pair of snowshoes and sent me off with the oldest six. (I wrote about it on Instagram and will share it in the paragraph below.) But driving back from snowshoeing, just knowing Mike was at the cabin, I almost started to cry I felt such relief and happiness. Our family's world really is just immeasurably BETTER when he is around confidently making all go well.

The snowshoeing paragraph:

It was 7 degrees Fahrenheit and windy. I had a hard time forming words very well (because my face was frozen? my lips couldn’t move over my teeth correctly? I don’t know.). We lost the trail to the 560-year-old clump of intertwined limber pines and had to keep forging our own (Abe and Daisy debating back and forth over which direction made the most sense.) For awhile Anders’ courage nearly faltered. But I fashioned his hat into a face guard of sorts that would cover his mouth and nose. And Daisy kept his spirits up by talking about Bigfoot. And Abe (with Jesse dutifully on his heels) tromped down the snow—creating packed paths for the rest of us to follow—all the while confidently encouraging everyone that this was a grand adventure and assuring them: “Look! I can see the trail ahead!”, “I’m sure we are on the right path. I remember taking a picture at this spot when we came once with dad.”, “What? Lost? That’s nonsense. We can’t get lost. Worst case scenario we follow our own tracks back through the snow.” And when we made it back to the parking lot (after having been the first to make it to the pines since these recent snowstorms), and pried our snowshoe hooks loose with numb fingers, and climbed into our van, it seemed like it had been a pretty good way to spend the first day of the New Year. 💫(Alternate caption: New Year’s Day snowshoeing with a small portion of the people I’ve made. Also, I think snowshoeing is incredibly fun.)

After church on Sunday we cleaned up and headed home. I drove with just the three older girls. We discussed various things for a while, but none of them must have interested Penny much because eventually she said, "Let’s talk about a topic that’s interesting to me now. Like hand signals." Yes. The most interesting topic on the planet. (She is thinking ahead about her May Learner's Permit test apparently.) And then Daisy told us all sorts of interesting things about The Lord of the Rings and things that she understood more fully after having read the Silmarillion and some of Tolkien's letters in her Lord of the Rings class last semester. Some of the stuff was so applicable to mortality and a gospel perspective that it made me tear up. And it kept Penny interested too as she would say things like, "Tell us about those Sacksville Bagginses.", and "Just who is Samwise's Old Gaffer?" 

It was a good time. (Though a little sad to return and have Abe and Daisy leave us again. Just when we'd started liking them. ...) And now on to a new year!