Kids in School

The kids are all back in school:

Jesse and Anders take the bus some of the time, and some of the time Jesse drives. It's a bit strange not having Penny setting off with them anymore. (Hans was up at the crack of dawn--excited about the first day of school-- and so walked with me and the boys to their bus stop by Aunt Sarah's. He was fully ready--including having his backpack on--with still about 90 minutes before he and the rest of the younger kids would need to leave for their bus.)

Saying goodbye to the cats.

Mette requesting another front-door picture for the second day of school (after all, she did have two new shirts). (Note Hans sneaking in behind her.) 

Penny's first day of college! Like Goldie, she's now attending Utah State. I've never before had college kids living at home--coming and going with their odd, college, class schedules. It's strange having Goldie and Penny unexpectedly here and then not and then here again throughout the school day.

I have no picture of Goldie starting on this same day. Nor of Daisy starting her final year of her master's program down at BYU. But Abe and Kenya did text us first day photos. (Abe's first day of his master's and Kenya's start of her junior year--both at BYU.)

Things have not been quite what I supposed they would be so far. It's the first time in nearly 25 years that I have no little ones home with me during the bulk of the day (Starling was only gone until noon for kindergarten). But, as I mentioned, with Goldie and Penny's schedules, it's often that they are somewhat around--coming and going and what not. 

(In fact, after I returned from taking the kids to school on the first day, I walked into the house and was greeted with a big hug by Penny. "Oh!" she exclaimed frettingly. "Are you OK? All of your kids are gone!" I looked at her with an eyebrow raised and then motioned about me: Penny standing in front of me, Goldie and Daisy [who still had a week before needing to head back to Provo] lounging in the living room--their computers and blankets and books and what-have-you scattered about them. "It doesn't seem too much like my children are all gone," I commented. 

Since then it just seems the days have been full of ... well, not what I thought they would be, I guess?

Certainly I can do everything--errands, cleaning, etc. much more easily than I ever could with all of my babies and toddlers in tow. 

(How I recall hearing people say how busy they were--and how I would still be busy even when my kids were all fully grown--back when I had a house full of toddlers [and no older ones to help during the school days] and thinking, "You have forgotten what it is like to have tiny children. You might think you are busy, but you actually can do the things you need to do. You aren't stopping every other minute to change a diaper, or clean up spilled milk, or get someone a cup of water, or nurse a baby, or stop a fight. And you aren't accomplishing tasks and running errands with mess-making toddlers strewn about you, so don't pretend to an equal busyness!")

And that is still true.

But! I think I still somehow supposed that once my kids were in school, all of my time would be just ... mine for the taking!

I would: run (hmph--Achilles and knees continue to interfere with that), then complete projects, then study the scriptures deeply, then maybe do some family history work, and go to the temple, then plant flowers and practice the piano and develop new talents. Finally, I'd bake some cookies for the kids' return. 

I would not: be sitting in car shop waiting rooms, and trying to get Pig back in her old pen (and properly fed) when she'd escaped her new pen (and with it the feed and water boxes that were staked so she wouldn't tip them and now impossible for me to move); running necessary errands with my older girls; scheduling a likely root canal after a crown fell off; driving to Bear Lake to clean the cabin for part of Abe's honeymoon; shopping for wedding dresses; meeting with the propane guy--getting him through electric fences and getting cows shut in so they wouldn't get out while he was there (two times on two different days!); or waiting at the new house for the appliance guys to show up so I could direct them to the barn to unload (since the house is nowhere near ready for the appliances we ordered months ago).

In short, I guess I was under the impression that all of life's normal demands and obligations (both good and bad) would no longer exist? And it turns out ... they still do. (Seemingly in spades lately.) And that there is still only a finite amount of time in each day and not all of it free. 

Nevertheless, I am excited to figure this new phase of life out--hopefully in some way that actually betters myself--even if it is looking to be somewhat different from what I had supposed it would be! And I hope to learn to feel gratitude for the opportunities it will afford me--rather than a dull feeling of guilt over all the things I assumed it would allow me to immediately accomplish that it hasn't yet!