#8 -- Something That Makes Me Happy

Mike being home on Thursday for Veteran's Day; he and Abe building a chicken coop together.I love to see Mike build things. Everything is so perfect and right and knowing how to do it all seems so clear to him. I'll show the finished product when it is . . . well, just that -- finished.

#6 and #7

Another blog post brought to you by: Penny and Jesse Nap Time! Although, to be honest, I could use a tiny little nap myself just now . . . so, we'll see if this blog post gets completed or not. I liked killing three birds (figuratively speaking of course) with one little stone yesterday, so lets chisel this list I've foisted upon myself (and thereby all of you) down a little further!

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#6 -- The things in your purse

Alright. Purse dumped out on bed. Photo taken. Some of the junk that was found thrown away. Here's what we've got (prior to junk removal -- for honesty's sake):

It would appear my purse isn't necessarily the happening place to be. There isn't a single little cute canister of breath mints or package of minty gum. There are no fancy lip balms or rhinestone key chains (the only reason that little eye makeup compact is even in there is because I just bought it at the store today and it seemed too small to warrant an entire bag).

There is, however, a package of popcorn attached to a frosty coupon (Marnie, I was actually going to return it to you whenever I saw you again). There also seems to be a number of wrappers and papers -- receipts and all those coupons they are always handing you with your receipt at the store (I'm glad we did this purse thing -- I'd forgotten about the free RedBox rental . . . which, for us, means it will only cost 3 dollars as opposed to 4 by the time we take it back). The wrappers. Well, I can't imagine that I ate something as zany as whatever kind of treat came out of that Zots wrapper. I must have picked up after one of my kids. The Russell Stover's chocolate covered marshmallow Santa though? Guilty. I love those little guys and they've been gone since last December! Also, I am glad to note that I have carefully been carrying my little anaphylaxis kit around in case I accidentally ingest a Brazil nut; however, I am sad to note that that particular kit is roughly eight years past its expiration date. (I do have a more recent one in my medicine cabinet however that is only several months past its due date). That's about it for old pursey purse. Oh wait, that little mouth covering Mickey Mouse thing. Nobody was really sick. Penny just nabbed it from the doctor's office one day and I felt sheepish to put something back in the box for others to use when her sticky little hands had been all over it.

#7 -- Nicknames you have

Everyone has a billion nicknames in my family (some shared) because my dad is a user of nicknames -- often wacky and bizarre nicknames. So, along with a few that my friends and sisters occasionally use, I have been called (among other things), "Nanny goat," "Nanny-go-vitus," "Nancy Pants," "Fancy Pants," "Smarty Pants," "Nank," "Nanners Bananners," and then, there are those that my dad fondly calls any of us at any given moment like, "Piddleatrope." (No. I don't know why either).

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It is now Friday -- and this began on Tuesday -- so, apparently I didn't finish the job during their nap time; nor did I kill three birds with one stone -- only a measly two. Nevertheless, the third one (number 8) is now completed in a new post -- as you may have already noted.

Numbers 3, 4, and 5

Really I am pretty much just bypassing numbers three and four. Why, you ask? They are, quite simply, BORING me and I can't muster a post out of them! Look:

#3 -- Your short term goals for the month
I don't actually have any goals for the month, if you must know. Well, I did have one, I guess. It was to pull out all of my dying flowers and weeds from the front flower beds and put Halloween decorations away, and I did do those things. So . . . that's something. I suppose I could hurry and create some worthy goals for myself, but I don't really want to. So, farewell numero tres.

#4 --Something you've been proud of in the past few days
I must have been feeling very accomplished and motivated when I kept numbers 3 and 4 in the list to begin with. I don't know that I've done anything that I'm especially pleased with lately. Not that I am displeased, mind. I've just been doing normal run of the mill things. Although . . . I guess you can be proud of something that isn't about you, can't you! Well, I was proud of Goldie yesterday when she spent all day working on a story (perhaps more of a parody) called "The Three Big Wolves" and read it to my entire family at Sunday dinner. Yes, there was a "little bad pig" that came to try and eat the wolves.

Alright, #5, I will give you an honest effort -- The first ten songs that happen to play when your iPod is put on shuffle.

It's a miracle actually that I own an iPod. I am terrified of technology and scarcely ever to be found wanting the latest gadget. Yes, I loved when Mike got me my GPS running watch, and cell phones are lovely, but I get intimidated about figuring anything new out and I would have likely never thought to get an iPod because I would have thought, "Well, that would be silly, I don't generally walk around with headphones on anyway."

Luckily, Mike keeps me somewhat in the technology loop. When my foot first started having troubles last year, I decided to try some cycling/spinning classes. I quite liked them, but I occasionally complained to Mike that I could do a pretty darn good class my own self with much better music. Soo, naturally (and it is naturally if you know that my husband pays attention to any small thing that might ever make my life happier) Mike came home a few nights later with an iPod for me. Of course he had to show me how to download songs and use it, and initially I just created a little spinning playlist of upbeat songs to use for my own little personal cycling sessions. But before long I discovered how great having an iPod is (especially with our van -- bless it's heart -- having a nice plug in so we can listen to it there). It is so fun to just put all my music on there and create little playlists. I have a Sunday one and one for the little girls that has songs that are innocent and fun for them like Colbie Caillet's "Bubbly," etc. Then more of a kids' one with the things like Old MacDonald had a Farm. I love hearing a song I like on the radio and just being able to quickly put just that song on my iPod. It's been so fun. I feel like an old woman saying, "Why that crazy what's-it called iPod is just a dandy -- the things it can do!" Anywho, shuffle clicked and here were the first ten songs that happened to come up (the original person I saw who did this list actually put the little youtube videos of each song on here. Naturally I haven't the faintest idea how to do that, so if you actually care, you can, I'm sure, find them your own tiny self on youtube).

1. Ope, that can't count. I don't even know that song or what its doing on here. I'll put what it should have been instead (cheater). It should have been "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. I listen to that sweet little song all the time lately. I tend to treat songs like I do food cravings -- I listen to one over and over til anyone near might lose their minds, then I discard it for something new. The last one was Dierks Bentley's "Draw Me a Map" that my sister Megan introduced me to (along with his version of U2's "Pride" that Shannon introduced me to).

2. "I'd be Lying" by Greg Laswell. I really love this song. As far as mainstream music goes, I usually prefer kind of mellow stuff like old Greg Laswell. Plus, this is the first song I downloaded and put on my little cycling mix, so I always listen to it as my warm up song (and now I can't really ever hear it without feeling like I'm riding a bike).

3. "Whenever/Wherever" -- Shakira. Well, one can hardly have an exercise playlist with no Shakira, can they? And, to my credit, I didn't realize she mentioned certain parts of her body being "small and humble" for a long time as I first only had a copy of the Spanish version.

4. "Boa Sorte" -- Vanessa da Mata and Ben Harper. My niece introduced me to this song. It took a few listens, but then I was hooked. It's mostly in Portuguese I think? Mike has quite a few songs we often listen to that are in Spanish and sometimes I like them just great despite having no idea what they are singing about. He always makes us listen to Esta Vida which he thinks is the happiest song ever to exist.

5. "Sweet Dreams" -- Jewel. Oh, that's a fun one to have come up. Jewel has such a pretty voice, but some of her old songs I used to listen to have lyrics that are . . . kind of lame-o, but this Sweet Dreams song is actually off of my little kids' playlist. It's from her lullaby album that I just bought by the diapers in Wal-Mart once. I quite love it for me and my little ones to listen to.

6. "Take Me for Longing" -- Alison Kraus. Not my favorite of her songs, but a fun one all the same. In general you can't not like Alison Kraus -- and have you noticed how nearly every famous country singer always has a song featuring Alison Kraus?

7. "Tonight" Lykki Li. Kind of odd little sound to some of Lykki's songs, but I like this one all the same.

8. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" -- Chris Rice. From my Sunday playlist. I also have the Mormon Tabernacle Choir version of this song, AND, a version by another gospel singer (whose name escapes me at present). It was written in the 18th century by a Methodist pastor at only age 22. It is really one of my favorite religious songs.

9. "Breakdown" by Jack Johnson. Another example of the more mellow mainstream that I like. I don't really know that you can go too wrong with Jack Johnson. And, my kids even enjoy his Curious George soundtrack songs.

10. "The Climb" -- yes, that would be by Miley Cyrus. Leave me alone. It's a sweet little song and my girls like it on their playlist (even though Abe doesn't like it because he said it makes him feel sad). I also like a little Taylor Swift. What of it? (Although, it does seem a little wrong when I hear Penny singing "I'm not a princess, I'm not a fairytale." I realize she has the words a little wrong there, but a three year old should be singing about BEING a princess. What have I done?

11. Oh, did I just type "11" -- I was supposed to stop at 10. Too bad. I've already clicked on the next song and The Wailin' Jennys' "Long Time Traveller" came up and I love the Wailin' Jennys.

There. Done. Three birds with one little stone.

#2 -- A Picture of Somewhere You've Been

Since I mentioned Israel yesterday, I thought I'd put a picture or two from there as the "place I've been". I don't have a scanner so these are actually photos taken OF my photos -- with out my having even bothered to take them out from behind the plastic of the album they were in. So, basically, they are just awful. Still, they will give you some small idea of the amazingness of being there. I remember Rabbi Rosen telling us something during one of our first classes with him about Jerusalem being the navel of the world . . . which sounds a little odd until you realize he was explaining it as the city which the umbilical chord from heaven connects straight to. It is really just impossible to be there with out feeling overwhelmed by spiritual history. So so much stuff in such a small area. I nearly wanted to cry looking though these photos, and then, of course, I had to go pull out the journal I kept while I was there. I can't really believe that little stay-close-to-home-homebody me managed to have that experience.

Here is the Nabatean Treasury carved right into the mountain side. This wasn't actually in Israel at all, rather in Petra, Jordan. Petra has been described as "A rose red city half as old as time." And, you may recognize the treasury from Indiana Jones! It was definitely one of the coolest places we got to go to. Also here I am at the Dome of the Rock. It is in the "Old City" which is the walled in area of Jerusalem -- and while you can see it from nearly anywhere at all in Jerusalem, my friends and I wandered around the old city forever trying to figure how to actually get to it. At last these cool little Palestinian kids showed us the way.

The few weeks we spent in Galilee were, I think, about everyones favorite part of the semester. Here is a little picture I took as we hung out along the shore one evening. Tiberias was across the sea and I still have such a perfect image in my mind of the long triangle of lights from the city of Tiberias we would begin to see as night set in along the shore of Galilee. Also, here I am with my roommates at the top of Mt. Sinai in Sinai, Egypt where we all hiked at about 2:00 am so we could be up there to see the sunrise. We watched so many sunrises and sunsets during our time there that I think those peaceful moments were the cause of my eyeglass prescription doubling before I returned home.

Here was all stopped at some cool sand dunes on our way home from Sinai (by "home" I mean: back to the Jerusalem center -- which really was home to us).

Speaking of the Jerusalem center. Possibly there is no place more perfectly located and situated and more all around gorgeous. I can't believe that I spent several months with these views constantly greeting my eyes from pretty much every room in the center. Just sitting in the chapel there for one hour as you overlooked the entire city was enough to make you want to weep for joy at the experience!



And now, for my own pleasure, a few random sentences from my Israel journal:

"It will be at least another 12 hours before we are anywhere near Tel Aviv."

"Jet lag is awful. I have slept about eight hours in three days."

"I love sacrament meeting in our chapel. Today our choir sang, 'There is a Green Hill Near at Hand'."

". . . then we exchanged some money and went into the old city."

"He asked if he should put it in the backpack so no one would steal it. I just laughed, 'no one will steal our water.' . . . we reached Damascus gate . . . next thing I know, this little old lady on the street has the water."

". . . went out on a run and there was this cool Bedouin Sheepherder with about 20 goats behind him."

"I went to the Israeli museum today. The Dead Sea Scrolls are there. It is HUGE. I saw maybe 1/3rd of everything."

"Today a bunch of us headed to Joffa gate where you can get up on the old city walls and walk around."

"After class today, I took off with Jeff and Dave to look for Hezekiah's tunnel. We didn't find it."

"Luckily Shibon (an old city store owner) gave us a ride home."

". . . and then down into the valley of Elah where David slew Goliath."

"I seriously cannot stay awake at all in my classes."

"I am sitting in my room right now with Sarah listening to a tape I made."

"I wish I could write all I'm learning in Isaiah."

"Today we got to press grapes in the wine press up in the Bible Garden."

"Dr. Nazzal took us to the Dome of the Rock and the Alaqsa mosque."

"Dr. Nazzal brought the men who do the call to prayer here for us. It was cool to listen closely to that strange singing and praying that I've only heard floating above Jerusalem."

"After that they had a traditional Ramadan feast with us."

" . . . took our class to the West Bank. . . . 21 refugee camps. . . . Next we went to the Palestinian "Birzeit" University."

"Arabs are so hospitable. We came up to talk to them, but they immediately insisted on getting us drinks saying, 'You are our guests.'"

"Visited the tel of Old Testament Jericho."

" . . . we were going to walk the Via Delerosa, but their were no English tours today . . . wandered into the Lutheran Church of the Redeemer. . . . little stone steps that never stopped curving around up to the top of the church past where the cathedral bells were."

"Sarah S. and I woke up at 5:20 am . . . went to Mea Shearim to buy shabbot bread."

". . . one or two other boys began singing -- more and more male voices from my class joined in. I suddenly started smiling and almost laughing -- it was just so good and happy. They were loudly singing, 'Ye Elders of Israel.'"

"Went to Aladdin's today (the money changer). . . . He told us he's the most honest crook there is."

"It's Rosh Hashanah so lots is closed."

"We also went to Mt. Nebo. . . . I liked looking over towards the Jordan river like Moses did - seeing the promised land after 40 years of wandering."

"Sarah S. and I hiked with Jason up to the 'high spot' where the altar for sacrifice was."

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" . . . So I pleaded, 'No! No! I love that one!' He said, 'Oh! But you are breaking my heart!' I just took it gently from his hand and laughed, 'I'm not breaking your heart.' He just smiled and I gave him one deniro."

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" . . . bunch of us left at 7:30 to go hear the Israel philharmonic play."

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"Security called our buses, but they took forever to get back."

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"We noticed they'd given us new curtains -- so we cheered some more and made someone come take a picture . . ."

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"He just kept saying, 'Think how lucky you are! Not only are you a member of the church, but out of the millions of members, you got to come here!'"

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". . . we had a simulated 'Seder' or Passover dinner with Rabbi Rosen."

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". . . then we went to The Monastery of the Cross. It was probably my favorite church that we've visited so far. . . . just two old guys and a 15 year old boy. He spoke a tiny bit of English, but they really only spoke Russian. I think the only thing they knew how to say was 'No entry' if we headed towards somewhere we couldn't go."

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"We went first of all to Masada. . . . climbed up the Roman siege ramp."

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". . . the Dead Sea. . . . I was so funny to just sit there and completely float."

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"W spoke a little Arabic with the owner of Lana's then we came back and played a round of chess on my new set."

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"I just spent the entire morning right outside of our room snorkeling along the coral reef of the Red Sea!"

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"Strange hiking up Sinai in the dark. There were camels everywhere and occasional huts selling things."

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"We are now back at our little home here at the center. I love it here. I loved as we got near the view I had of Jerusalem. It truly is a city on a hill."

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"We had the choir do a beautiful song -- Mendelssohn (sp?) from 'Elijah' -- 'He Watching Over Us.'"

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"We went to Shepherd's field to retell the Christmas story . . . hill was sloped and covered with rocks and shrubs, and the entire time we looked past two hills with Bethlehem nestled between them. . . . There were actually sheep across the valley walking down a little slope. You could hear them bleating distantly and an occasional sheep bell. . . . It was so perfect it makes me want to cry."

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"He hugged Jason and kissed him on the cheek and did the same to each of us, then he just crouched and beamed at us -- I wasn't really sure what we were to do. The store owner came and said something and the guy left. . . . he still seemed pretty cheery. . . ."

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"Driving in tonight, I looked at the Sea of Galilee and I felt like crying just for a brief second. . . to think my Savior really walked on, knew, and loved these shores."

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"Mt of Beatitudes . . . Caupernaum . . . Chorazin. We headed to Tiberias after that."

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". . . a number of tourists were killed in Egypt . . . tourists fleeing out of Egypt . . . everyone has been speculating about what will happen . . . tonight we found out from Pres. Evans that no, we are not going. . . . I won't go see the pyramids, etc. When will I ever again get to Egypt?"

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"Today is Thanksgiving."

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". . . went to Nain which is where Christ brought back to life a widow woman's only son."

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"I am on an airplane right now at the tail end of a 13.5 hour flight from Tel Aviv to New York."

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Well! That was certainly long and yet still missing roughly 100 trillion of the adventures. Sigh. what a cool adventure.

Bad Foot, Happy, Etc.

I am in such a pleasant and happy mood right now. I'm not sure why. My darn foot has been bringing me down. It was clear last December that this plantar fasciitis set in. I took a month off, but had already paid and signed up for a spring marathon and had to start trying to train a little. My foot couldn't take it though, so I had to forget the marathon (and the non-refundable entrance fee) and try to be patient and content with just minimal running.

That worked alright until April when it got terrible again. So . . . I pretty much stopped running til about August. But it hasn't felt good starting in again. Now we are getting close to a year! Is this going to stay with me forever? I really really wanted to sign up for another marathon that will be full probably in another month. Plus, I have a running partner!! Ever since not living close to my older sister Amy, I have mostly run alone. I've gone with groups here and there, but it has just never really worked with times I could go, etc. Now I run with a friend in my ward who is perfect for me! She runs my pace (maybe even faster -- which I like), she is super likable, and, I think could be coerced into training for something like a marathon with me (which would make those long runs so much more enjoyable!), alas, I am a minimalist runner at present.

A few weeks ago I gave in and paid for custom made insoles (basically orthotics -- with a cooler name), but they haven't helped at all. I just went and saw Mr. Orthotic (actually his name is Ben) again today. He messed around with the insert a little more and told me to wear them constantly for the next few weeks. He told me it has been months and months since he's had a case he couldn't help and that he wasn't big on letting me break his track record. We'll see.

And, I shouldn't be all complaints. I love to run and feel discouraged when I can't (especially when everyone I know seems to be doing big races, etc.), but some good has come of this. I've learned to try other things -- like spinning classes, weights, etc. that I've really enjoyed; and I think I will implement cross training into my routines even when I can run with ease. BUT! What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing.

I was just at that orthotic appointment today, which I mentioned only because I am feeling so un-bummed and happy despite orthotic-messed-up-foot day! It was nice visiting with my sister Amy after my appointment (she let Jesse and Penny come over while I went), and that made me happy. The weather is nice. I just got tickets in the mail to go to the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas Concert and I LOVE Christmas music about as much as I love anything. It just feels like a happy day. And, that makes me want to let laundry sit while I do things I enjoy (which, at the moment includes typing this and that). So here I am! The above was all simply an introduction. Only . . . such a long introduction that maybe I'll just type whatever else I am going to type in an entire new post. Alright. New post.

A Blogging List and 15 Things About ME!

Alright, so what do I want to type about? Well, just little fun stuff. I came across a list the other day -- a list of 30 things to be typed about for 30 days of blogging. Well, heaven knows I won't actually blog 30 consistent days, and, to be honest some of the ideas were bleh. But, I did jot down 20 of them that seemed fun-ish. So, not necessarily consistently, but perhaps I will blog these 20 things.

Here's the list:
1. A recent picture and 15 interesting things about yourself
2. A picture of somewhere you've been
3. Your short term goals for the month
4. Something you've been proud of in the past few days
5. Put your i-pod on shuffle and list the first ten songs that play
6. The things you find in your purse
7. Nicknames you have
8. A picture of something that makes you happy
9. A nick knack
10. The last thing you purchased
11. Your favorite room in the house
12. Something you own that has a lot of sentimental value
13. The oldest thing you own
14. Something you are good at
15. Something you are currently reading
16. A picture of your handwriting
17. Pets
18. Something someone made for you
19. Something interesting outside your house
20. Picture of you with loved one(s)

Well. Let's go ahead and try number one. You know I have tried time and time again (and failed) with this "making lists of fun or clever or strange or interesting things about yourself" business. But, I think I can do it today! I'm ready! Bring it on. Let's go. OK.

Oh yes, first, a recent picture of myself. How 'bout these:

Now that will lead us to number one:
1. Those pictures -- they reminded me of something about me. I look much better in pictures than in real life. That's all good and well. I like pictures, but it's a little sad to know the real me doesn't quite measure up to the photos. Odd.

2. I am quite claustrophobic. I really feel uncomfortable to be in any small space. Even the back seat of a car that doesn't have back doors makes me feel a little panicky. When I was little I didn't know there was a word for the panicked sensation I would get if someone was squishing me someplace tight so I would just begin crying out, "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" Which wasn't really true, but was the best I knew to explain what was happening.

3. I am a thousand times more likely to fold a batch of laundry happily if it is a load of darks. They always seem to have more easily foldable things in them.

4. I get asked if I am a volleyball or basketball player on a regular basis.

5. I was a phone call away from pursuing a PhD in Neurobiology. I'd applied, sent all my letters of recommendation, taken the GRE, been interviewed by two professors who had both agreed to take me on (you have to have a professor agree to be your "mentor" to oversee your work if you go on to graduate school in Biology). I merely had to let them know my decision. Mike and I had been discussing it but hadn't decided anything for certain. The graduate school I'd attend was an hour away from where Mike was currently enrolled. I was working full time and wouldn't be able to keep my job, etc. The day I found out I was pregnant with Abe, Mike came home from school and, before I could tell him the news, he told me to go ahead and call one of the professors -- that we'd move up there and maybe he'd transfer schools. Then I told him our baby news and, with the excitement of our first baby and knowing I'd want to be home with him, my PhD plans dissolved pretty quickly. I wasn't at all disappointed, but I occasionally look back and wonder about life had I gone down that path. I can't imagine having accomplished it having kids, but it would have been something that I would have really enjoyed.

6. I really prefer 2% milk -- which I know disturbs some.

7. I'm always a little happier when I am driving a standard. It's all we ever had growing up and it makes me feel extra in control.

8. I had a pet frog for a few weeks when I was little. When it's cage got too smelly, I graciously freed the frog in a small rain puddle. I'm sure he survived to live a long and happy life of freedom . . .

9. My fingernails are rarely (if ever) painted, but my toenails always are.

10. I can't bare the thought of mixing egg whites "until stiff peaks form." I have tried several times and I am certain no stiff peaks ever planned on forming! Which means, sadly, that I will likely never make truly great waffles. Ooh, but that leads me to number 11 --

11. I love waffles but have a difficult time eating a pancake even though they are about the same thing. Is it the texture?

12. I was pretty much the queen of 5th grade. I don't know why, but it's true. Kids flocked to me. Friends adored me. Everyone wept when I was chosen only to portray Lady Capulet in the 5th grade play of Romeo and Juliet when surely its success depended on my being Juliet. Alright, there was no weeping about that, but I have to say I was pretty darn big time in 5th grade. I have never re-attained that glory.

13. I knew I wanted to go spend a semester in Jerusalem when I was only 12. I don't recall if that was when the church built the Jerusalem center or how I even knew about it, but I wrote in my journal how I wanted to go there someday and planned on it from that time 'til age 20 when I finally did go.

14. I don't enjoy seeing any scary movie or even slightly scary image ever. They stay with me for a very long time and make me feel like bad spirits are hanging around me. When we were first married, Mike would occasionally have me watch a slightly scary show with him. Now, he knows it disturbs me so much that he actually covers my eyes if a scary face pops up in a commercial!

15. When Mike and I broke up, we had been sitting on my front porch talking in the cold for so long that when I came in I suddenly realized my feet were nearing frost bitten stage. I sat in my room rubbing my frozen feet and crying and crying (over Mike, not my feet!) 'til I finally fell asleep -- only to wake up in the morning and cry and cry again. I'm really glad I married him.

Well, that was actually quite fun. But my "doing what ever I please" has come to an end. That laundry really does need folded . . . and it's a big batch of whites. Booo.

Some Fall Shots

With the weather looking nice, and fall leaves sitting happily on their branches, I decided to take some fall pictures of my kids the other day. As with most of my daring enterprises, there was little planning -- no matching clothes or clever . . . I don't know . . . chairs? I've noticed people love to put cool chairs in the middle of nowhere for photo shoots. I ought to get me one of those. I did brush my girls' hair out and redo Penny's napped on pony tail. Then I commanded everyone to go find, at least, a white shirt (never mind that most white shirts they own are old stained undershirts) so they would somewhat appear to match.

I realized, quickly, that my dreams of happy smiling children all huddled close and lovingly were merely that -- dreams. I really couldn't get five kids to look at me all at the same time:And then . . . there were the special objects they'd each brought. Somehow I was so focused on their darling little faces (and trying to make those faces look at me) that I didn't notice how distracting a pair of black gloves and a tiger stuffed animal; or, a silk rose and some sock monkeys; or even a Dora the Explorer bag would look in the finished picture. Huh. Well.
And, what about this picture? Jesse? Where did you run off to? And Abe! When Daisy tries to put her arm around you, don't knock it out of the way! Everyone! Stay put.

Thank you Daisy and Abe for your valiant effort here -- only Abe, you're looking blurry (yes, I know that's my fault).
But, the real problem was even more specific. You may have already picked it out as you looked at the above photos. It had something to do with the little fellow you see in the background here:
Yes. That's him alright. Jesse.He was . . . to put it mildly . . . very . . . sad.I think it started when I attempted to make him sit on a rock for a picture with his siblings. Who wants to sit on a rock? Then, whenever he tried to happily wander away and get lost in the mountains, I would bring him back . . . and that didn't sit well. Add to that the fact that I'd foolishly allowed him to bring sock monkey 1 AND sock monkey 2 and -- hoo-ee. He was forever dropping one or the other, picking them up, and sobbing that they were then covered in dirt, small sticks and leaves. But, if I took them away or tried to hide them, he would be certain they were being left abandoned in the woods and would howl all the more.

Abe tried to comfort him a time or two:

And Daisy offered him a leaf:

One time, an airplane flew over head. That distracted him for a minute:

But that sad little fella almost sent us, and our dirty white shirts, home before any real photo-ing had begun. Luckily, we still managed some pretty good shots (as you shall see in the next post).

Despite the Tears . . .

and all the stuffed animals, Dora bags, silk roses, etc.; I was able to get some pictures I was quite happy with! Here's a sampling:

Some Killer Business

I just got through eating lunch. It was one of my concoctions involving nearly every left over ingredient available in our fridge. It contained some beans and meat and a little cheese and some tomatoes and a few other items. It was killer.

Which reminds me of something (as the word killer always shall). Once, when I was a mere girl of 12(ish) -- untrained in the arts of small talk and flirtatious banter. I found myself in line at a local water slide in front of a slightly older boy who seemed intent, to my horror, on striking up a conversation with me. I don't recall what was said or how I uncomfortably answered until he questioned, "So, have you ever ridden the water slides at night?" "No," I answered awkwardly (were the water slides even open at night?). "It's totally KILLER," he assured me. Having little idea what to do with this information about killer night water sliding, I nodded and smiled and mumbled something and turned back to the line -- willing it with all of my heart to be nearly over with.

That is probably about how all of you felt just now when I mentioned that my weird lunch was killer -- awkward, embarrassed, and willing the post to just end.

And yet, it continues.

We had a good deal of crummy sickness around here this past week. It fell my family members one by one in the following order: Jesse, Penny, Abe, Goldie, Jesse (again?? Who really knows. He started the whole business and seemed to have moved well beyond it, but then, just for good measure -- or maybe because he wanted to remind us whose sickness this really was, he threw up again a few days later), Daisy, Mike.

It was relatively short lived -- slamming those who got it quite fiercely for about 8 hours, then restoring them back to near perfect health with in about 18. Mike threw up so hard though that he actually burst a bunch of capillaries around his eyes. He still has two blood red dark circles under each of his eyelids. That was a little scary.

Anywho, six out of seven isn't very good odds (well, for number seven staying healthy that is . . . if you are looking at it as "good odds of number seven getting it," then, well, I guess you are right). As I am number seven, I have been living in a state of fear -- just waiting for my turn; wondering when it will begin. It's kind of like waiting for labor (only, you know, quite a bit less exciting). Every night I go to bed thinking, "Will tonight be when it all starts?" And then Mike calls me in the day to see if I'm still here.

But who knows. It's been nearly two days now. Maybe I just have a super charged, super great immune system! And that, if anything in this post, is what is "killer." (Although, one must fear, after making such a bold statement, that they will most likely be found crumpled in a miserable heap next to the toilet with in the next few hours.)

Then again . . . perhaps not. I ran around playing in dirt and probably eating it (for all I know) most of my growing up years. I don't recall anyone ever once suggesting that perhaps a good hand washing was in order. Oh, I picked it up on my own at some later stage of life (the smiled upon art of hand washing and frequent bathing), but it just may be that those early carefree days of germyness are serving my immune system well now! (Incidentally, spellcheck is quite uncomfortable with the use of "germy-ness"). Isn't that a happy thought though? Not happy enough to stop me from enforcing hand washing among my own children, but happy enough for me to turn a blind eye when Mike lets them eat dirty old snow.

And, since we all know a post with a bunch of words and zero pictures is BOOORING, treat yourselves to this:
(Penny and Jesse standing by our front porch where, let's face it, shall we? My flowers are currently looking quite fantastic.)

(Mike making shakes for the kids.)

(Abe practicing violin with Grandpa Al.)

Lessons on Faith

A couple of years ago, I had an experience that taught me a huge lesson about faith. Before that time, I'd always been a little confused -- I knew that we were supposed to have faith, and not just faith. Faith IN something -- namely, faith in Jesus Christ. Faith that He is our Savior, that everything He does is to help us return to him and to have eternal happiness. Faith in God our Father, that we are His children, that He wants good and happy things for us just as much (more) than we do for our own children. Faith that He hears and answer our prayers, that He will guide and lead us if we ask and listen and follow. Faith that, as it says in Proverbs, His ways are higher than our ways -- essentially that He sees the bigger picture and knows what's best for us, and why certain things are allowed, and what we must face to grow and become who we hoped to become when we chose to come to this earth and face this test.

I also knew that we were supposed to pray, as it says in James 1: 6, ". . . in faith, nothing wavering. For he that waivereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."

But, I didn't understand this correctly. I thought this meant that when we prayed for something we wanted, we had to somehow muster complete and total confidence that it would be so -- that if I waivered for one second in my certainty that He would grant my request, I would not be granted an answer to my prayers. Where this got me into trouble was here: I knew that we were also supposed to pray, as Christ taught us, "Thy will be done . . ." If I knew something was certainly the will of God, then fine, that was all good and well. I could pray with perfect faith, but what of when I didn't know His will -- which, truly, is most of the time? When I am praying to get quickly over and illness, or for someone to be healed, or for someone struggling with infertility to be allowed to have a child, or for someone to get past a particular trial -- I don't know, for certain what the Lord's will is in the matter. Because of this, I wasn't sure how, exactly, I was supposed to pray with unwavering perfect faith when I made requests.

When Mike and I moved to WA, we purchased a house. The housing market had been exploding up there. We had no idea how many years we'd be there, and we were afraid if we didn't act quickly, the going rate for a home might leap up again. We had a decent down payment and were able to find a good home fairly quickly. Three years later -- and much earlier than we'd guessed we'd be moving back home -- we were moving back home and needed to sell our house. The problem? That rapidly rising market we'd purchased our home in had crashed (as it did in so many places). Our neighborhood was particularly hard hit and, with something like 70% of the homes for sale in our area being foreclosures, the going rate for homes had plummeted even further.

At this point, from looking at homes similar to ours, I felt certain that we had a chance (slight though it was) of selling our house at a price that would allow us to break even (meaning just lose our entire down payment). We'd have to be lucky -- things were at a point where a few homes still managed to sell for a reasonable price (from a sellers perspective), and we'd have to be able to sell it on our own (realtor fees would do us in). Still, I felt that my hopes weren't overly optimistic -- they were possible. And, with this in mind, I went to the Lord and prayed with all of my heart that things could work out as I'd outlined -- that He would lead the right buyer quickly to our home. Mike was less hopeful. We were in a hurry to sale before leaving by the end of summer and he thought that we needed to ask lower and likely use a realtor to really move it quickly. Still, I'd felt confident my prayers had been heard and I convinced Mike to let us try my way for two weeks. I prayed like crazy during those two weeks. I particularly recall praying about it during one of my runs (maybe that sounds strange, but I think and pray quite a lot when I am out running). As I prayed, I knew "nothing wavering" that my prayers were being heard. I can remember the very spot on the trail -- right where it crossed a small section of road before going behind a stretch of houses -- that it hit me. THIS was what praying with perfect unwavering faith was. It wasn't knowing you'd get what you wanted. It was trusting 100% that He was there -- that He heard. And with that unwavering faith, it was easy to say, "not my will but thine be done." I knew the Lord heard my prayers. I knew I was acting in faith and hope that those prayers would be answered . . . and because I knew that, I could trust His will in the matter. He was aware. He was guiding me and if, after all my prayers and faith, it wasn't to be -- well then, I could trust that He had some other plans.

I continued hopeful and, on the last day of my two weeks, I got up early to make sure every speck of the house was clean and "show worthy." I was absolutely certain, that if it was His will, it would happen that day. I'd like to say it did -- that at 10:00 pm someone knocked on our door ready to buy the place. But it didn't. In fact, when our house did sell (several weeks later with a realtor's help), we lost not only our down payment but had to take out an extremely significant loan to get out of our house -- a loan we will be paying for several years to come. This was frustrating and difficult -- particularly since we'd always tried to avoid debt beyond house and car payments. But I truly felt alright. In fact I felt more sure of the Lord's awareness for and love for me than I had in a very long time. I felt that He was pleased with me for my faith and that somehow, this would work towards my good; that He would honor the trust I'd put in Him -- that He always honors the trust we put in Him. It was scary and I'm sure I shed a few tears for simply not knowing how things would play out. It was frightening to be moving into my parents' basement indefinitely, to not know when we'd get into a house again, to not know where my kids would go to school, etc. But I did feel peace, and I felt that I finally truly understood what it meant to pray with total faith while still trusting in His will and time frame. Even with out knowing that in six month's time we would be blessed to find an incredible deal on an amazing home, and even still, not knowing if getting us here was the reason for that situation having turned out as it did, I did learn that I can pray with total faith -- even when I don't know His will. I can know that if it is His will, He has the power and the graciousness to grant me the thing I am praying for, and, if it is not His will, I can know assuredly that He is teaching me what I need to reach my full potential in this life, or, He is leading me to something altogether better.

Tonight I was reading a link to someones blog when they mentioned a talk given by Elder Dennis E. Simmons several years ago in General Conference. Even though it had been nearly six years since the talk, just hearing the title brought it right back to me because it had stood out so much at the time I'd originally heard it and been one I had truly loved. It was titled, "But If Not . . ." During the talk, he told the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego who were going to be burned alive if they did not worship the golden image that king Nebuchadnezzar had commanded them to. Here was what Elder Simmons said next in his talk:

The three young men quickly and confidently responded, “If it be so [if you cast us into the furnace], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand.”. . . But then they demonstrated that they fully understood what faith is. They continued, “But if not, … we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.” That is a statement of true faith.

They knew that they could trust God—even if things didn’t turn out the way they hoped.

They knew that faith is more than mental assent, more than an acknowledgment that God lives. Faith is total trust in Him.

Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him.

I love this talk so much. I love that they said: Yes. He can and will deliver us, but, if He doesn't, we'll go to a horrible fiery death before we stop trusting in Him. I love the idea of, and want to be the kind of person who could, as boldly as Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego say, "My Lord can deliver me from this . . . But if not . . . I will stand firm and true to Him."

He then went on to quote from one of my all time favorite chapters of scripture -- Hebrews 11 where it lists all of these amazing things that have been accomplished through faith: The Red Sea was crossed, the walls of Jericho fell, kingdoms were subdued, people escaped death by the sword and claimed great and amazing blessings, etc. And, that is pretty great when our faith secures us those types of experiences, but then the tone of the chapter changes and it mentions other things -- things people were able to endure through their faith: “And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, … bonds and imprisonment:

“They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about … being destitute, afflicted, tormented; …

“God having provided some better things for them through their sufferings, for without sufferings they could not be made perfect.”

Here is a link to the full talk if any of you want to read it. It's pretty great: "But If Not . . ."

I haven't had many trials in my life -- and sometimes this scares me in an "Oh no! How much longer 'til my luck runs out" sort of way, but I am so grateful for the things I have learned about faith and hope I can truly have the kind of faith required to constantly rely on the Lord -- even when things go far far from how I hoped they would.

Blogging Under Less Than Ideal Circumstances

I'm wishing I would blog, but I am here to let you know that blogging -- or being on the computer at all actually -- has quickly become an unappealing way to spend my time; and I will tell you why -- it is because I have basked in the luxury of my laptop for so long. Who wouldn't want to type a little post as they relax on their couch in the evening -- or the morning -- or whenever they happen to be relaxing at all for that matter?

But now our laptop is down and our only other means of communication with the outside world (well, besides all the other means of communicating) is by sneaking down to our dim unfinished basement to use the old slow creaking computer of days gone by that is left here for -- well -- just such an occasion as this, I suppose. And it does feel like sneaking . . . like at any moment someone (good or evil) might discover me down here in my dark little room hunched over this keyboard -- waiting for the letters I have typed a few seconds ago to actually catch up and become visible on the screen. This did use to be a hidden room where marijuana plants quietly bloomed (only accessible through a small secret door under the stairs) so that can only add to the feeling of being about sneaky business here. (For those of you who think I'm just being clever, I'm not. The previous owners of this house loved to grow their marijuana).

Anywho, so I've scuttled off down here like a little rat to let you all know I am alive and well -- in the bright and light upstairs computer free world. My kids are too -- or at least I assume. I can't actually hear them down here, so, it is possible that they may not be well at all.

While I'm here, before I get too cold and scared, let us see what I can find to type about.

One -- I might keep changing my blog name to other cool things like, "A Chicken in the Window Well and A Jaw Bone Boiling in a Pot on the Stove," or, "A Chicken in the Window Well and . . ." well, here, my new idea is breaking down. BUT, Abe did find some mysterious jaw bone in the hollows behind my parents' house on Sunday. He was concerned it might give him rabies and while, mostly, I was sure this would not be so, I quickly agreed with Mike when he suggested Abe might boil it. So, Sunday night there was a jaw bone -- teeth and all -- bubbling away happily on my stove. I'm going to tell my kids they should be grateful that that jawbone wasn't all we had to season our shriveled potato and water soup -- like when I was a kid.

Two -- Yesterday as we drove home from the library, everyone was looking at books (saving me of course). Goldie was reading hers out loud. Jesse, who was intently studying his own book, kept repeating the things he heard Goldie reading. We laughed that his book would happen to have such a similar story line; then I asked him, "Is that a good book, Cubby?" "No," he responded. Oh funny kid. Also, today I was getting ready when I heard something that sounded slightly different from the usual blocks or Legos or dishes from the dishwasher being thrown to the floor. I came to check, and there was Jesse (if you can imagine that), up on a stool with a little tupperware of eggs he, to his great good fortune, had chanced upon in the fridge. He was quite contentedly wiling away the time by calmly throwing egg after egg through out the kitchen. He'd done about ten by the time I got to him. I admit, as I cleaned it up, I felt a sudden surge of envy. He seemed to be having such a satisfying time, and, it occurred to me, that throwing those eggs -- seeing and hearing their nice little splat, probably would be an enjoyable thing to do. If only there was someone to clean up after my turn.

Three -- I was feeling very much like a no good, not measuring up sort a week or so ago. I wrote a long post about my blues and then didn't post it because I felt quite fine again after getting it out, and it was a good thing I was feeling all better because a mean and crummy individual said a very low and insulting thing to me and all my kids (about me having so many kids) as I was coming out of the grocery store on Saturday. While I admit that my mind spent the rest of the day seething with good come-backs I could have used to put him in his place, I didn't particularly care about or feel upset by the opinion of someone so lacking in class and decency that he would feel fine slamming a mom and her kids. The very fact that my oldest is only nine and not a one of my kids could be so lacking in courtesy and intelligence as he clearly was suggests to me quite obviously who our society is truly better off having, but, it upset me a great great deal that we do live in a society and a time where men would think something like that would be OK. It discouraged me so much because I want my girls growing up in a world where men are gentlemen and where chivalry still exists. This was so very much the opposite of that, that it truly depressed me. I am sure, or I hope, that such individuals are still the vast minority, but it was upsetting all the same. What bothered me the very most was that Abe was so upset by it. I don't know that he caught or understood what the man said or my response telling him what a classy gentleman he was -- only that some stranger had insulted his mother.

The good news is, however, that it made me especially aware of and grateful for my kids and family and home. You always hear that we should make our homes a sanctuary -- a place our kids can come and be free from the strains and crumminess of the world. It truly felt like that when we came home that night -- like washing off the care of being "out there" with all the lowness the world has to offer. Also, after his ill informed remark, all I could think was what a sorry life he must lead and that he couldn't possibly know of the joy and happiness I have with my little troop of kids. Mike was at the Priesthood Session of General Conference that night, but, after putting the two little ones to bed, I let Abe, Daisy and Goldie stay up late -- just because I felt like being with them. We played "Catch-A-Phrase" together and laughed. I felt so lucky to have them and so lucky to be back in our home where we could feel peaceful and feel the Spirit and be far removed from the crassness we had experienced earlier that evening. When Mike came home, he had roses for me. I felt so happy to realize that even though I am a wimp about handling rudeness, it stems in great part from the fact that I have so little experience with it. I married the very kind of man that I hope will exist in the world for my own girls some day. Mike has never said one unkind thing to me. Truly. And if that is the reason I am shaken by the opposite type of communication, then, what a blessing that is.

Four -- Wouldn't it be nice if there were some pictures with this post -- you know, to break up all these blasted WORDS? Well, it would be nice, but all I can say to that is, "You wish." Until this computer business is all worked out, there will be NO pictures. (Oooh . . . unless I draw some with the paint program). Mike has been trying to get things off our laptop hard drive onto this hard drive . . . or maybe another hard drive . . . or something. All I know is that our computer looks like it is having surgery with cables and wires poking out everywhere. It looks like a delicate operation and I don't dare meddle with it by hooking in something like a camera cord. Plus, I'm feeling the cold and loneliness of being down here seeping into my bones -- which is a shame because it might be that I could come up with lots more good stuff, but, this will have to suffice.

Farewell.